We have a rather large concrete room off the kitchen-end of our 1939-built house. Our home is on a hillside, and the concrete room is the foundation for the 2 1/2 car garage the original homeowners added on after converting the one-car garage to a TV room in 1948. We know the year because when … Continue reading That damn desk
married to a sex addict
A Friday in February
Time to finish the posts about our last couple's therapy appointment in Los Angeles. It seems so long ago. The coronavirus situation hadn't even gathered steam at that point. We were still in the throes of mourning my dad's passing, everyone had plenty of toilet paper. The toilet paper thing is still odd to me. … Continue reading A Friday in February
Fear of not being loved
During our last therapy appointment Blue Eyes brought up me, my dad, and one of my nieces as examples of people who live honestly and openly without fear and how he wants to emulate our behavior. He wants to be like us. He talked about the things he loves about me and how upon meeting … Continue reading Fear of not being loved
When anger rears its ugly head
Our therapy appointment on Friday began with the therapist asking how I was getting along since my dad's passing. I told her it had only been a few days since his funeral, which had been overwhelming, but that I was doing pretty well as long as I don't watch the video someone took of all … Continue reading When anger rears its ugly head
Love is… a year later
It must be Valentine's Day that gets me thinking this way. Last year at this time I wrote this Love is entry. I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. I have written about this numerous times, and the year he spent Valentine's Day with her in Tokyo (2010, crazy it's been 10 years!), ew, it's ugly no … Continue reading Love is… a year later
I’m still in that box
My baby brother, the Listener, the one who works for us and knows everything, called my mobile phone last Thursday at about 1:30pm. He didn't beat around the bush. He said, "dad is gone." Even though I knew what was coming, the words still hit me with an awful force. It wasn't shock or surprise, … Continue reading I’m still in that box
The elephant in the corner
I ran across an old blog post yesterday and there was a comment by Pablo's Wife, one of my favorite betrayed wife bloggers. She hasn't blogged for over 2 1/2 years, but hers was one of the first, if not THE first blog I followed back in 2014. I love her wit and her honesty. In … Continue reading The elephant in the corner
For now, I’m keeping him
Saturday, January 11th, approximately 1:00pm, was the six year anniversary of the phone call from the other woman. The phone call that forever changed the lives of my little family. I haven't said it in a while, but it is true that if this awful woman hadn't called my phone, it is likely that I … Continue reading For now, I’m keeping him
Have you ever been to a strip club
I do find the subject of sexual acting out choices fascinating. I can now very easily remove my personal feelings from the shit my husband did during his years of acting out. He's sober now six years and we are a little over a day away from the anniversary of discovery of his secret life. … Continue reading Have you ever been to a strip club
What was I thinking
God only knows what I was going on about last night when the topic of me finding the email from the other woman on his laptop all those years ago came up. It was only last night that this conversation happened and I honestly can't remember. My brain works in mysterious ways sometimes. But that … Continue reading What was I thinking
try not to cry on my rainbow 