Hug Point, North Oregon Coast I think if I didn’t understand people, their emotions, their wounds, and their motives, if I didn’t internalize so much of other people’s wants, I would be far better off. I’m tired of trying to be what people need. Over the past few years I have tried desperately to better … Continue reading Still searching…
self care
On doing less
Although I strive for peace and happy and all that, I do think the above meme is a bit judgy. To this person, busy does not equal peace. Peace = success. But, we all get to decide how busy we want to be. For some people, busy makes them happy, and not busy feels wrong, … Continue reading On doing less
Signs of emotional exhaustion
Yes, to this: “80% of women don’t cry, scream, or argue when they’re hurting, they go silent. Not because they don’t care, but because they’ve already said everything they needed to say and it changed nothing. Silence is her last language. It’s what she says when she realizes her words have fallen on deaf ears … Continue reading Signs of emotional exhaustion
Birthday memories
Okay, I admit it. I’m a bit of a control freak, but also a people pleaser. I thought about it quite a bit and then wrote on here what I was going to do for my birthday. I decided Blue Eyes could come with me, and he did. A few days before my birthday, however, … Continue reading Birthday memories
What’s going on
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6NXnxTNIWkc And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bedJust to get it all out what's in my headAnd I, I am feeling a little peculiar And so I wake in the morning and I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream from the top … Continue reading What’s going on
You are going to be okay, part two
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, blossoms are popping, it’s spring in Portland. I’m doing some cleaning of the closets and other such spring kinda stuff. Life is not perfect, but it’s good. Eleven years ago today, I was three months into healing from the most shocking revelation, that my husband was a … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part two
Letter to the sister in law
“D, I’ve decided that in order to continue having a relationship with you, I need to be able to say my piece without any interruption. I realize, of course, that you have your own stories, feelings, trauma, etc… and me speaking my mind is in no way minimizing your story or your feelings. Our story … Continue reading Letter to the sister in law
Family, and anxiety
I’m home from a glorious trip to Hawaii. For the first 5 days it was me, Blue Eyes, and The Peacemaker celebrating their 60th & 30th birthdays respectively. Last week was spent with my mom, step dad, my brother GQ, his wife, and The Princess. My mom turned 80, and The Princess turned 9. For … Continue reading Family, and anxiety
What made me
The last time I was down in LA, the sister in law cornered me. Her mom used to do this with people. Get them alone and then blast them with venom and hate. Both mother in law and sister in law did this with Blue Eyes regularly. He was an easy target and he never … Continue reading What made me
Loneliness
All we can hope for is that Blue Eyes’ father feels a little better with us here. It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was … Continue reading Loneliness
try not to cry on my rainbow 