Journal Entry: April 21, 2014 What to do with myself? I never thought much about it four months ago. My husband traveled a lot over the past 20 years. I was alone a lot. For years I had the boys. They were the best company. I love them with everything that I am and have … Continue reading I am alone.
sex addict
Contact with the other woman
Journal Entry: April 18, 2014 We returned from our cruise vacation a few days ago and we are both sick. I am physically sick with an upper respiratory infection, and I am also very sick, and tired, of my husband’s last acting out partner calling our phones. She had called both our mobile phones numerous … Continue reading Contact with the other woman
These are a few of my favorite triggers
Journal Entry: April 16, 2014 I have already journaled about some of the most disturbing and prevalent triggers in my life including planes, airports, hotel rooms, and cities they traveled to together. My husband’s mobile phone and laptop are also huge triggers as he spent a great deal of time texting, sexting, calling and emailing … Continue reading These are a few of my favorite triggers
Please let me off this psychotherapy hamster wheel
April 17, 2014 “He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” Lao Tzu We returned home yesterday from our cruise. My husband is sick with a throat infection and we are both exhausted. The trip was like a roller coaster ride. One day to the next, emotions … Continue reading Please let me off this psychotherapy hamster wheel
Planting the seeds
Journal Entry: April 2, 2014 “When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson We are still on our cruise. On one hand I feel isolated, and on the other, I feel smothered. Remind me never to go on a cruise again. I have always loved the … Continue reading Planting the seeds
Thank goodness we can’t tell the future
Journal Entry: March 27, 2014 "Thank goodness we can't tell the future. We'd never get out of bed." Julia Roberts as Barbara Weston in August: Osage County. We are on our way to Miami. Our 15-night Panama Canal cruise leaves port Sunday. So here I go on another trigger filled holiday with my cheating, sex-addict hubby … Continue reading Thank goodness we can’t tell the future
You expect me to believe this is addiction?
Journal Entry: Friday, February 28, 2014 "Somewhere between right and wrong is a garden; I'll meet you there." Rumi My husband has been officially diagnosed as a sex addict. He has a new therapist who specializes in this type of addiction. We now have a total of four therapists between us. I cannot describe how … Continue reading You expect me to believe this is addiction?
Out with the old, in with the new
Journal Entry: February 26, 2014 Things with my therapist are not going well. I have cancelled an appointment with her and have no intention of going back. She wants me to leave "Ted Bundy," I mean "B." She was completely freaked out by my self harm and thinks staying with my husband is just one … Continue reading Out with the old, in with the new
A downward spiral into my abyss
Journal Entry: Valentine's Day, 2014 I now hate Valentine's day. While we were in Hawaii, I was obsessing about the acting out partner and why anyone would want such a dysfunctional, vacuous relationship. I went on and on about how she never got to spend any real time with him, how could she possibly think … Continue reading A downward spiral into my abyss
Please make it stop
Journal Entry: Sunday, January 26, 2014 "You were the lightning, and I was the tree. Your words were the fire, burning the best parts of me." MMH We have a visitor. He is a friend of my husband who is also a client. He has been living in the U.S. for a few years now. … Continue reading Please make it stop
try not to cry on my rainbow 