It must be Valentine's Day that gets me thinking this way. Last year at this time I wrote this Love is entry. I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. I have written about this numerous times, and the year he spent Valentine's Day with her in Tokyo (2010, crazy it's been 10 years!), ew, it's ugly no … Continue reading Love is… a year later
survival after betrayal
I’m still in that box
My baby brother, the Listener, the one who works for us and knows everything, called my mobile phone last Thursday at about 1:30pm. He didn't beat around the bush. He said, "dad is gone." Even though I knew what was coming, the words still hit me with an awful force. It wasn't shock or surprise, … Continue reading I’m still in that box
A burning desire
Yep, it’s true. Let that fire inside burn! 🔥 I made it to Japan where triggers abound, but they can’t get me anymore. I’ve built a wall of strength around me. It took a few years, but I won. I’ve already got a bit of jet lag, which usually makes me loopy and somewhat ungrounded, … Continue reading A burning desire
A new level of exhaustion
Looking back on 2019, I had a pretty great ride. There were ups and downs throughout, but by the end of the year, everything seemed to make sense. Not all was fair, no, not fair, but I had metabolized the crazy (meth addict breaking into our house) and the insane (the arbitration verdict) and the … Continue reading A new level of exhaustion
The elephant in the corner
I ran across an old blog post yesterday and there was a comment by Pablo's Wife, one of my favorite betrayed wife bloggers. She hasn't blogged for over 2 1/2 years, but hers was one of the first, if not THE first blog I followed back in 2014. I love her wit and her honesty. In … Continue reading The elephant in the corner
For now, I’m keeping him
Saturday, January 11th, approximately 1:00pm, was the six year anniversary of the phone call from the other woman. The phone call that forever changed the lives of my little family. I haven't said it in a while, but it is true that if this awful woman hadn't called my phone, it is likely that I … Continue reading For now, I’m keeping him
What was I thinking
God only knows what I was going on about last night when the topic of me finding the email from the other woman on his laptop all those years ago came up. It was only last night that this conversation happened and I honestly can't remember. My brain works in mysterious ways sometimes. But that … Continue reading What was I thinking
What I’m seeking
When I was in the trauma therapist's office last month, she asked me to think of something that brought me peace. Something I could focus on to calm my breathing and use during somatic healing. Sitting there in the middle of Los Angeles on a sunny 70 degree December afternoon, all I could think about … Continue reading What I’m seeking
Navigating that pedestal
To put someone on a pedestal: To believe or behave as if someone or something is perfect, wonderful, or better than others, to the extent that one is unable to see its potential flaws or faults. Once again, comments by bloggers have prompted a post. In a comment by beleeme on my last post, she … Continue reading Navigating that pedestal
In-patient treatment for sex addiction
The phone call from the other woman happened on a dreary January Saturday afternoon in 2014. The Seahawks were set to play at 1:35pm and we were planning to watch the game in our family room with our son. He struggles with an anxiety disorder, and had recently returned mid-term from his sophomore year of … Continue reading In-patient treatment for sex addiction
try not to cry on my rainbow 