April 17, 2014 “He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” Lao Tzu We returned home yesterday from our cruise. My husband is sick with a throat infection and we are both exhausted. The trip was like a roller coaster ride. One day to the next, emotions … Continue reading Please let me off this psychotherapy hamster wheel
Planting the seeds
Journal Entry: April 2, 2014 “When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson We are still on our cruise. On one hand I feel isolated, and on the other, I feel smothered. Remind me never to go on a cruise again. I have always loved the … Continue reading Planting the seeds
Trauma on the high seas
Journal Entry: March 31, 2014 Letter to my husband: Thirty years ago you started courting me. My life would never be the same. I was not shopping for a husband and I wasn't ready. After a mere seven months of knowing you, I fell in love. I fell in love with who I thought you were. … Continue reading Trauma on the high seas
Thank goodness we can’t tell the future
Journal Entry: March 27, 2014 "Thank goodness we can't tell the future. We'd never get out of bed." Julia Roberts as Barbara Weston in August: Osage County. We are on our way to Miami. Our 15-night Panama Canal cruise leaves port Sunday. So here I go on another trigger filled holiday with my cheating, sex-addict hubby … Continue reading Thank goodness we can’t tell the future
She walked this path
Journal Entry: March 24, 2014 "Just because everything is different, doesn't mean anything has changed." Irene Peter My husband has become quite attached to his sponsor. His sponsor has a similar story and pathology to my husband. He has been sober (although with sex addicts, it is not always wise to believe anything they say) … Continue reading She walked this path
Not sure this one’s going to stick either
Journal Entry: March 17, 2014 I think most everyone can relate to being betrayed by a spouse. Obviously not everyone has experienced it, but most can imagine how devastating it would be. Having your husband diagnosed as a sex addict (versus a “cheater”) on the other hand, brings with it a whole different kind of … Continue reading Not sure this one’s going to stick either
Dude, sorry we’re so miserable, but we really do love your ranch
Journal Entry: March 16, 2014 In January, after B’s initial sex addict diagnosis and his therapist’s recommendation that B immediately check himself in to the Meadows Sex Addiction recovery program for 45 days, and B’s subsequent dismissal of this advice, B did start looking for a seminar to attend. He felt particularly drawn to the … Continue reading Dude, sorry we’re so miserable, but we really do love your ranch
No More
Journal Entry: March 7, 2014 How do I feel today? I feel like no one really gets me. I feel like my life has been ripped from me. I feel like my whole world has fallen into a never-ending abyss of heartache and despair. I feel like I will never be whole again. I feel … Continue reading No More
Leave your baggage at the door and join me for a little celebration
This is in real time... today: October 23, 2014. I have taken a quick break from going back in time. Today is my husband's 51st birthday, the 30th birthday I have celebrated with him. All but two of those birthdays we have celebrated together, in person. He was 23 and 24 years old the last time … Continue reading Leave your baggage at the door and join me for a little celebration
A very long letter to the delusional, hoarding, alcoholic whore who thinks my husband gives a damn about her!
Journal Entry: Sunday, March 2, 2014, 7:40pm About six weeks ago I wrote a letter to my husband's acting out partner. I know I am not supposed to have any contact with this horrible woman who calls my phone all the time but does not leave a message. She blocks her number so that I … Continue reading A very long letter to the delusional, hoarding, alcoholic whore who thinks my husband gives a damn about her!
