Oh boy, here we go. I don't really have a lot of time right now for blogging. I shouldn't be blogging. I should be up, and moving at the very least. I have my alarm set to get me up out of my chair every hour. Sitting is bad for me/us/people. I actually should be … Continue reading I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
adultery
A mountain of fear
Here is my dilemma. My current and evolving story is about betrayal and subsequent trauma. Blue Eyes's story is about addiction. His story has been about addiction all along. We have both been hurt. But I did not perpetrate hurt on anyone. My marriage was not struggling. Although my husband did work, at lot, he was not … Continue reading A mountain of fear
Was I dropped on a planet full of sex crazed monsters?
We’re on another business trip out of town. It’s a short one, but still, there will be triggers. I guess it is inevitable at this point. I do long for a day when I am not blindsided by images I don’t want to see, and thoughts I don’t want to think. I have a lot … Continue reading Was I dropped on a planet full of sex crazed monsters?
He envisioned the devil
It is really sinking in for me that I must focus on taking care of myself first, every day. I know it is so cliché, but it is also so true. I have spent a lot of years taking care of a lot of people and I often get advice here on this blog that … Continue reading He envisioned the devil
More couple’s therapy
It's Tuesday, which means therapy day all the way around. Blue Eyes has his individual therapy in the morning and we have couple's therapy in the afternoon. Last night was another rough one, but we got past it. In today's therapy, Blue Eyes did good. He changed things up on Ms. Second Chance. He let me share … Continue reading More couple’s therapy
I need to talk this out, okay?
A sky that matches my mood... I have no idea where this is going, which is fairly unlike me. I really need to write now while my husband is away from the house. I need to think my thoughts out loud, in front of you all. It will probably sound crazy in the end, because … Continue reading I need to talk this out, okay?
I could be happy anywhere
Approximately three months ago I put myself on notice in the post The year has come and gone. I am responsible for my happiness. I have made a promise to myself to seek out that happiness and not let anything or anyone get in my way. Happiness used to come so easily to me. I woke up happy … Continue reading I could be happy anywhere
Couple’s therapy
Things are going well. Really well actually until today when my husband said something stupid and careless and my mood took a nose dive. Thankfully it was short lived, but totally unnecessary. His thoughtless blunders continue to remind me of the excruciatingly slow progress of his recovery and my constant fear that what I really want … Continue reading Couple’s therapy
I am the wife
I am heading off to a painting workshop in Southern California. I am a little anxious as I will be painting outside (plein air) and I will be working with acrylics. I have never painted in acrylics before, only oils and watercolors. I am reaching outside my comfort zone and I am also very excited. … Continue reading I am the wife
Sex IS optional, part one
Disclaimer: I love sex BUT I am not an exhibitionist. I am practical. I am mature and thoughtful and respectful. My husband is a sex addict. That complicates things. Also, I am having a very weird and unbalanced week so I will probably share things in this post that I don't normally delve into, eh, … Continue reading Sex IS optional, part one
try not to cry on my rainbow 