Journal Entry: October 17, 2014 After my 45-minute phone call with Brian, the other half (the cheating half) of the winning team behind the http://beyondaffairs.com website and the Passionate Life Seminars (http://beyondaffairs.com/beyond_affairs_network_seminars/take-your-life-back-retreat/), Anne being his betrayed wife, I was excited, yet apprehensive. While talking with Brian, I realized the upcoming ‘Take Your Life Back’ 3-Day … Continue reading Deciding to take my life back
adultery
Bonding road trip from hell, part four
Journal Entry: October 16, 2014 Going back home. I woke up yesterday feeling down. In hindsight, I think I was totally burnt out. All my energy was gone. Used up. I had spent days now with my husband with barely a break. It was getting to be too much. In a car, in a hotel … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part four
Bonding road trip from hell, part three
Journal Entry: October 14, 2014 Sharing with friends. The drive up highway 1 through Big Sur is awful. Again, it’s dark and windy, but this time I’m driving while my husband is violently vomiting next to me. Esalen is really out in the middle of nowhere and is very environmentally friendly, so no plastic. We … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part three
Bonding road trip from hell, part one
Journal Entry: October 10, 2014 Beware of the “upgrade.” As previously posted on this blog, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this past July. For our anniversary, we had planned to visit the bed & breakfast where we spent our honeymoon all those years ago. We found out earlier in the year, that the inn … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part one
Stranger things have not happened
Today. I was going to name my post "Stranger things have happened," but you know what? Stranger things have never happened. While we were in Hawaii, my father got a call from my brother's friend saying she had been trying to get ahold of him for a day, but he was not returning her calls or … Continue reading Stranger things have not happened
I need a place to hide
Journal Entry: October 6, 2014 It's been a while since I talked about therapy. A couple weeks ago I decided I was ready to be done with my individual work. Basically, I was going round and round with issues with communication with my husband. I communicate, he doesn't. Me continuing to communicate in therapy, by … Continue reading I need a place to hide
The stalker whore makes an appearance
Tonight I have a number of other journal entries to post from our recent trip to Hawaii, as it turned out to be full of triggers and trauma, with some breakthroughs along the way, and I do want to share those. However, we just returned home and I am exhausted, depleted, anxious, and feeling sick... and … Continue reading The stalker whore makes an appearance
The self-cleaning vagina
Journal Entry: September 19, 2014 Last year my menstrual cycle started going all wacky. I missed periods then had a cycle twice one month. I’m pretty sure I’m heading into (or hopefully out of) menopause. I was also getting increased irritation and infections from the condoms we use. It seems we have tried them all, … Continue reading The self-cleaning vagina
The Golden Rule
As I sit here in paradise, it is obvious to me that the trauma symptoms from betrayal know no bounds. It doesn't matter how gorgeous the weather, or how blue the ocean waters, or how vibrant the tropical flowers, or how amazing the view is from the bathtub in our room, trauma is here, permeating … Continue reading The Golden Rule
Internet, dating, and sex addiction
This week December 11, 2014 Here I go, venting again. We are nearing the end of the corporate retreat portion of our Hawaii trip. Earlier this year we had to let an employee go, and we had already committed to a specific room count at the resort, so each of our boys ended up with … Continue reading Internet, dating, and sex addiction
try not to cry on my rainbow 