I finally got a chance to watch the Parenthood series finale. When the Television Show first aired, I was a little disappointed. It was nothing like the movie with all those quirky characters and really funny moments. The TV show was full of beautiful people, with some of the same basic issues, but without the … Continue reading Melancholy Sunday
affair
We are all in pain
If I ever thought I would run out of things to write for my blog, I was mistaken. Even if there is nothing interesting enough to write about going on in my life, other bloggers daily give me ideas of topics to write about. Every day I am either prompted by another’s blog topic, or … Continue reading We are all in pain
And then jet lag happened
“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing … Continue reading And then jet lag happened
It’s not love. It’s safety I seek
Journal Entry: January 18, 2015 My husband loves me. I know he does. I know he always has. That is not what scares me. On our last day in Tokyo, we had afternoon tea with GQ, his wife, and the little ray of sunshine. Then we walked them to Tokyo Station and said good-bye. We … Continue reading It’s not love. It’s safety I seek
How do I know it isn’t real, part two
Journal Entry, Cont’d: January 15, 2015 The story of Camilla: Winter 2005, Blue Eyes was feeling like shit. His relationship with his family was on a serious downward slide. I was incredibly busy with our kids and my volunteer work. At the time, he was managing four start-up businesses with all the stress that goes … Continue reading How do I know it isn’t real, part two
How do I know it isn’t real, part one
I have been working on this journal entry/post for days now. It has been incredibly difficult for me, and my husband. I suffered numerous bouts of trauma and some self harm while we were in Japan. We are home now and my arm looks like a tiger got it. I hate when I get in that … Continue reading How do I know it isn’t real, part one
Who killed Bambi’s mother
Journal Entry: January 9, 2015 We arrived Narita airport at approximately 2:30 this afternoon, Japan time. The flight was relatively uneventful. The stalker whore was not on the plane, not that I know of anyway. We exited the plane, quickly navigated immigration and customs, and headed to the Japan Rail office to change the train … Continue reading Who killed Bambi’s mother
Another dark road, part one
As I sit here in trigger "happy" Tokyo, I decided I would post this entry from back in Hawaii in December. My words then represent some of my feelings as I sit here in a place where my husband traveled with his affair partner three times over a period of four years. I am journaling, … Continue reading Another dark road, part one
Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
Journal Entry: November 24, 2014 Once we knew therapy was ending with Chatty Kathy, both my husband and I talked about the fact that we NEEDED to find a new couple's counselor, right away. I no longer go to individual therapy, and my husband is still very much trying to tackle the recovery process. When Blue … Continue reading Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
The ambush, part two
Journal Entry, Cont'd: October 30, 2014 Blue Eyes and I drive the short mile back to our house in silence. He, of course, does not say anything, at all, and I am still so much in my head I am not even able to form cohesive sentences. I need to calm myself down somehow. I … Continue reading The ambush, part two
try not to cry on my rainbow 