I’m home from a glorious trip to Hawaii. For the first 5 days it was me, Blue Eyes, and The Peacemaker celebrating their 60th & 30th birthdays respectively. Last week was spent with my mom, step dad, my brother GQ, his wife, and The Princess. My mom turned 80, and The Princess turned 9. For … Continue reading Family, and anxiety
anxiety
Give me strength
A beautiful October morning in Portland I’m currently sitting on another plane heading down to Los Angeles. Blue Eyes was supposed to be the one on the plane. He was scheduled to be home for the weekend, to spend a little time in his own home, with me and The Peacemaker and his dog. I … Continue reading Give me strength
What do I want
I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want
Anxiety abroad
I am currently in Japan. Blue Eyes is super busy with work while I get to enjoy some leisure and family time. We're celebrating my Mom's 75th and my niece's (The Princess) 4th birthday here in Tokyo. My baby brother (GQ) has lived in Tokyo for 24+ years now and I'm glad we have business … Continue reading Anxiety abroad
A Woman Under the Influence
My younger son, The Peacemaker, is really into classic films. He is a budding filmmaker himself. He has subscribed to a website by which he can access old movies that aren't readily available on other sources. We've watched numerous films from all over the world and of varying genres and spanning decades. We recently watched … Continue reading A Woman Under the Influence
Turbulence on re-entry
At this point, I feel like readers are pretty aware that with all the fun of travel and beach houses, and all that jazz going on in my life, inevitably struggles will sneak their way in because, you know, living with a sex addict ain't easy. Frankly, after 33 years, I'm not sure living with … Continue reading Turbulence on re-entry
I’ve made a lot of excuses
As much as I would love to say I am just pleasantly plump, or a little chubby, I have a lot of fat on my body. I teeter between overweight and obese, per all those handy BMI calculators. For me to give this diabetes control situation a chance, I need to get into the normal … Continue reading I’ve made a lot of excuses
On being an addict
Below is an old blog post Blue Eyes wrote while he was working on his fourth step. I thought I had read everything on his blog, but somehow I missed this. Honestly, I think this post speaks so very clearly to his struggle with being an addict. It was extremely difficult for me to read … Continue reading On being an addict
Lost identity
In the shower this morning I realized I am having an identity crisis. I have written so much here on my blog. I have spilled out who I am, what has happened to me both before and after I found out about my husband's secret life, how I feel about addiction, how I feel about … Continue reading Lost identity
The new normal
Well, it's been a while. We returned a couple days ago from an 11-day trip to New York, New Jersey, and Atlanta, mostly for business. If not for the fact that Blue Eyes caught a bad cold and was sick as a dog the entire trip, and I mean he came down with it ON the … Continue reading The new normal
try not to cry on my rainbow 