Journal Entry: April 23, 2014 Warning: this is a venting post. I do not normally just vent with all the words and hate that go along with that, but today, today I need this. This is going to be a full on rant. I have to get it OUT!!! I feel better already. As my … Continue reading Today I want to gut the bitch
married to a sex addict
Am I losing my mind
Journal Entry: April 22, 2014 I have been feeling increasingly anxious and depressed lately and I am not really loving my therapist. Some days I feel like I am living inside someone else's head, someone else's life. My husband has found a clinic in Southern California that specializes in the sex addiction-induced trauma model for … Continue reading Am I losing my mind
I am alone.
Journal Entry: April 21, 2014 What to do with myself? I never thought much about it four months ago. My husband traveled a lot over the past 20 years. I was alone a lot. For years I had the boys. They were the best company. I love them with everything that I am and have … Continue reading I am alone.
Contact with the other woman
Journal Entry: April 18, 2014 We returned from our cruise vacation a few days ago and we are both sick. I am physically sick with an upper respiratory infection, and I am also very sick, and tired, of my husband’s last acting out partner calling our phones. She had called both our mobile phones numerous … Continue reading Contact with the other woman
These are a few of my favorite triggers
Journal Entry: April 16, 2014 I have already journaled about some of the most disturbing and prevalent triggers in my life including planes, airports, hotel rooms, and cities they traveled to together. My husband’s mobile phone and laptop are also huge triggers as he spent a great deal of time texting, sexting, calling and emailing … Continue reading These are a few of my favorite triggers
I will come out of the storm
Journal Entry: April 18, 2014 One of my hobbies is taking photos. I used to lug around my heavy Nikon D300 with me everywhere. For the past couple of years, however, basically since I got this wicked case of tendonitis in my right elbow, I have just made due with my handy iPhone. I took … Continue reading I will come out of the storm
Please let me off this psychotherapy hamster wheel
April 17, 2014 “He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” Lao Tzu We returned home yesterday from our cruise. My husband is sick with a throat infection and we are both exhausted. The trip was like a roller coaster ride. One day to the next, emotions … Continue reading Please let me off this psychotherapy hamster wheel
Planting the seeds
Journal Entry: April 2, 2014 “When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson We are still on our cruise. On one hand I feel isolated, and on the other, I feel smothered. Remind me never to go on a cruise again. I have always loved the … Continue reading Planting the seeds
Trauma on the high seas
Journal Entry: March 31, 2014 Letter to my husband: Thirty years ago you started courting me. My life would never be the same. I was not shopping for a husband and I wasn't ready. After a mere seven months of knowing you, I fell in love. I fell in love with who I thought you were. … Continue reading Trauma on the high seas
Thank goodness we can’t tell the future
Journal Entry: March 27, 2014 "Thank goodness we can't tell the future. We'd never get out of bed." Julia Roberts as Barbara Weston in August: Osage County. We are on our way to Miami. Our 15-night Panama Canal cruise leaves port Sunday. So here I go on another trigger filled holiday with my cheating, sex-addict hubby … Continue reading Thank goodness we can’t tell the future
try not to cry on my rainbow 