I feel like I am caught in a series of cycles. Menopause is one that is getting the better of me. I know I have written about this before, because I have been "going through" menopause since before I commenced writing this blog. I was about 35 years old when we made the decision not … Continue reading Cycles
shame
He’s just not that type of guy
The following TED talk was sent to me by a follower. It is one of the best descriptions of sex addiction I have seen thus far. We Need To Talk About Sex Addiction "The biggest barrier to getting help for sex addiction is the secrecy and shame that surrounds it" "He doesn't believe anyone could … Continue reading He’s just not that type of guy
I will never tell him I forgive him
I have read a couple betrayed spouse posts recently, as well as an article or two, on the subject of forgiveness. I have also heard the phrase, "I will never forgive him," quite a few times. I am pretty specifically focusing on betrayed spouses forgiving their cheating spouses. Although I have mentioned forgiveness a few times on my … Continue reading I will never tell him I forgive him
My challenge with blogging
We're still in Japan, having a wonderful time, but that doesn't mean I don't think about the betrayal. There are so many triggers everywhere. Those who read my blog know what I have been going through the past 22 months. First there was discovery, a harrowing phone call and all the revelations that followed regarding my … Continue reading My challenge with blogging
The battle
I am consciously realizing my path to healing, as the betrayed spouse of a sex addict, is the shorter one of the two of us. I instinctively knew it would be, but it is so obvious now. My life journey included a childhood that shaped me, we all have one, many times fraught with heartache, … Continue reading The battle
Revisiting empathy
Playing with color: An interpretation of my view, 16" x 20", oil on canvas Progress not perfection, is a running theme around our house. A conversation amongst betrayed spouses this morning regarding empathy made me think of, well, a bunch of my blog entries, but specifically this one: And then it all went to s*%t. That … Continue reading Revisiting empathy
Shame
When I first saw the above "quote," I immediately thought of my husband. He was the one denying his real story and acting out and rationalizing and compartmentalizing. Denial was his best friend. I do believe he can embrace his own story, every last little sordid detail of it, the good, the bad, the ugly. I … Continue reading Shame
A chance at happily ever after
I'm going to give myself closure on the discussion of Blue Eyes' fifth step. It's time to put the whole thing to bed. As I was nearly done with my blog entry late yesterday afternoon, Blue Eyes returned from his sponsor's house. There was no text when he left the guy's house. Leaving texts or calling … Continue reading A chance at happily ever after
Torn
Best laid plans, and all. For the fourth, we were set to drive up north for the big family picnic and barbecue, and we even drove almost half way there before I realized I had forgotten my medications, which include high blood pressure meds, and birth control pills. Two things I need to take on time. … Continue reading Torn
Why I stay
I have seen this saying floating around the web for a while, and I like it for the sole reason that it makes me think. It speaks to the question of whether people can change, or not. I don't think who we "really" are is a stagnant concept. I don't believe we come into this world … Continue reading Why I stay
try not to cry on my rainbow 