If you don’t want anyone to find out, don’t do it.
Sometimes I run across new and informative articles on sex addiction, hopefully as unbiased and with the least amount of judgment and hate as possible. The Fix is a great resource for articles written by and about real people dealing with addiction and recovery. I was first introduced to The Fix when a friend’s daughter started penning for the online publication. She is an accomplished writer with a compelling story to tell of her bouts with eating disorders and addiction, intertwined with stories of her childhood growing up with addict parents.
In this particular article, the author is interviewing Robert Weiss, the founder of The Sexual Recovery Institute.
Although people who make money off of trying to help other people often get a bad rap, I believe that having been in a position of being diagnosed with a particular illness or addiction (in this case a controversial one) gives the person a unique advantage in helping others, especially if this person has truly and wholly recovered and helped themselves first. With sex addiction, it starts with a belief in the actual addiction. Belief that you have a problem and that there is a solution is crucial to healing.
In the end, sexual addiction is more difficult to define and potentially more difficult to recover from, certainly more difficult to gather statistics on, than alcohol or drug addiction because each addict must define his own list of rules and decide what is and what is not a break in sobriety, over time.
“The important thing to remember is keeping your integrity. Gained integrity is more important than sobriety.”
Article: A Way Out of Sex Addiction
Blue Eyes was always very sexual. He has an extremely high level of testosterone and sex drive. I think in his mind, no amount of sex was ever enough. He was never not able to perform. But that is not what makes him a sex addict. Having a lot of sex is not what makes a person an addict. What makes Blue Eyes a sex addict is the lies he told to get the sex he had in secret and how much he hated himself, felt shame, but kept doing it, regardless of the consequences. He never wanted to break up his marriage, or lead other women on, or break all his promises to me, or put my life in danger, but he did. That is how I know he was living with absolutely no integrity.
Sex addiction is an integrity disorder.