Huge peony blooms from my cutting garden. I know it’s confusing to some, how or even why I would want to stay partnered with a person who lied and cheated and systematically betrayed me. How to get past the wounds, and why? Why trust? Why knowingly make myself vulnerable to a proven abuser. The question … Continue reading We’re in this together
affair
For now, I’m keeping him
Saturday, January 11th, approximately 1:00pm, was the six year anniversary of the phone call from the other woman. The phone call that forever changed the lives of my little family. I haven't said it in a while, but it is true that if this awful woman hadn't called my phone, it is likely that I … Continue reading For now, I’m keeping him
Have you ever been to a strip club
I do find the subject of sexual acting out choices fascinating. I can now very easily remove my personal feelings from the shit my husband did during his years of acting out. He's sober now six years and we are a little over a day away from the anniversary of discovery of his secret life. … Continue reading Have you ever been to a strip club
I’m over it
photo credit: Justin Kauffman Facebook reminded me that five years ago last night I found myself on a plane with my husband's affair partner. I mean I didn't put that on Facebook, but yesterday I was reminded that we were returning from a corporate retreat in Hawaii. I was less than a year post discovery … Continue reading I’m over it
Mind blown 🤯
POST #500 As I was responding to a comment by Spouse of a Sex Addict from my last post, it triggered a memory from arbitration. As mentioned, arbitration week was hell. We listened to the contractor on our beach house construction project lie, repeatedly. He spoke softly and gently and made it look like he … Continue reading Mind blown 🤯
It still happens
As previously mentioned, yesterday was Blue Eyes' Birthday. We're on vacation. I knew he would need to do some work on this trip because we had arbitration last week, which put us both behind, AND, he can't take a 10-day vacation these days without working. Sad to some, not sad to us. We're short handed … Continue reading It still happens
Assumptions
The sex addict world of betrayal may in fact be a bit different (or a lot different) from the average infidelity nightmare. Sex addicts are not out shopping for a new spouse with their sexual indiscretions. Often an SA's destructive behaviors have gone on for years and included any number of secret sexual activities. The … Continue reading Assumptions
It’s complicated
True Story. As Blue Eyes and I were packing up at our midtown NYC hotel room this past Sunday I received a distressing phone call from a friend. I was already stressed out as the front desk staff and the housekeeping staff were having major communication issues and even though we have a guaranteed 2pm … Continue reading It’s complicated
Why…
The question with answers that don't make sense to someone who would never betray their partner. To someone who isn't an addict and doesn't have the need to fill such deep, destructive holes, nothing really makes sense. Blue Eyes did a pretty good job of reflecting on the question that has been asked by me … Continue reading Why…
I knew it wasn’t perfect
It was Sunday morning of this past holiday weekend and I was triggered by something, I don't quite remember. It wasn't so much debilitating as it was distracting. Those feelings of not knowing, of my instincts being totally off, for years. Of him telling me about Ashley, the first, how she had worked years before … Continue reading I knew it wasn’t perfect
