I have now heard (or seen) this term “neurodivergent” a half dozen times in the past week.

It’s one of those phenomena where you have never heard of something before and then BAM! There it is over and over. Sometimes I think it’s just a matter of coincidence. When something has been explained or introduced to us and then we just frankly notice it more because it was brought to our attention. In the case of “neurodivergent” I don’t believe I had ever heard of the term before last month.

I was in a super frustrating conversation with my beach house cleaner. This is someone who has cleaned for me for over a year now (after my numerous failed cleaning relationships) and I depend on her. I pay her for each clean + I pay her a monthly stipend that is to cover additional errands and other tasks I might need done for the house during the month, especially when I am out of state. She agreed that tidying up the yard would be included. It’s a generous stipend. I still honestly do most of the supply ordering and delivery plus maintenance, but I really need her to be motivated, so I do what I think will motivate her. She’s a single mom with two teenagers.

Unfortunately I’ve noticed that sometimes these types of arrangements backfire in that the more you pay, the more they seem to want (versus the more they do). What I mean by this, is she takes advantage of the situation. Pretty much as soon as the first of the month rolls around, and I mean like stroke of midnight on the first, she sends me a reminder to pay her the stipend (read she has become dependent on it whether she does any extras or not).

I showed up at the house a couple months ago after having been out of state and the yard hadn’t been tended to for weeks. Overgrown with weeds everywhere at a “luxury beach house.” At least that’s what people believe they are paying for. We’ve only ever been “marked down” on the platforms for cleanliness. I was horrified. Her comment was, “it had looked nice for the wedding in mid-May. It was now end of June. She just kind of shrugged her shoulders and said she had been crazy busy.

There are so many other examples I don’t want to go into, but the house itself, I can’t have excuses. People are paying top dollar. Last month I arrived to the house after she had supposedly cleaned it thoroughly and I was frankly disgusted. I spent all four days of our family vacation cleaning and putting things back the way they should be. Then I created a check list with photos and asked her to follow it EVERY SINGLE CLEAN.

Bottom line people, I have OCD and she has ADD.

I showed up the next week after a clean and once again, you could have knocked me over with a feather! Wtf. I immediately texted her with my concerns as I was once again cleaning and putting things in their proper places before guests were scheduled to arrive, which included putting the dish cupboard back in order and finding a salad bowl that clearly hadn’t been washed by the guest! She was surprised I was there and just full of excuses. She said she thought my list and photos were just suggestions. She likes her way better. 🤯

As her excuse for why she can’t follow my basic guidelines and also why her 16 year old daughter ran away from home with a 30 year old man (another reason why she couldn’t clean the house properly) is because they are both neurodivergent. I had to look it up! Based on the above description and others I have found, you know who is neurodivergent… BLUE EYES!!! He is medically diagnosed with dyslexia (as a young child) and ADD (as an adult). Numerous of my family members are diagnosed autistic. I get it. I see it every day, however, if being neurodivergent means you can’t do your job (somehow Blue Eyes manages to be very successful in the business world), then I need to find someone who can. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Blue Eyes is tired of hearing me complain and keeps suggesting I replace the current cleaner. Easier said than done. Blue Eyes was out for a walk with Bernie the dog. The house next door was being cleaned. He was very excited to present me with the business card of this “new” potential cleaner. The card was for the cleaner I had fired the year before because on numerous occasions they had just not shown up and I had to race over from Portland and clean the house myself. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Once again, last week, I needed to be at the beach house. The cleaner has now brought in a second person and I was cautiously optimistic that this would help with the situation. The house needed to be perfect as a TV program was being filmed over two days at the house last week, then a wedding party was arriving the next day. I authorized extra cleaning hours. Two of them were there for seven hours. I arrived the next morning at 7:30am to prep for the film crew and when I opened the door to the house, every light was on and every window covering was open. Two no-no’s. There was laundry in the machine and a pile of towels on the master bedroom floor…. they had attempted to paint a wall with the wrong paint, and there were streaks on almost every surface. For once in my life, I was at a loss for words, and then I had to be on camera for seven hours straight. Oh my! Does frustrated beyond words fall into the neurodivergent category. I’m off to cry now.