If you let fear control your life you will surely end up in a far worse place than you were trying to avoid. • • • • Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's … Continue reading thoughts for today: fear & strength
Author: CrazyKat1963
A mountain of fear
Here is my dilemma. My current and evolving story is about betrayal and subsequent trauma. Blue Eyes's story is about addiction. His story has been about addiction all along. We have both been hurt. But I did not perpetrate hurt on anyone. My marriage was not struggling. Although my husband did work, at lot, he was not … Continue reading A mountain of fear
Everybody hurts… sometimes
Tomorrow is the five year anniversary of the day Blue Eyes' brother took his own life. Uncle D (as I will call him) was 43 years old. He was married to a young woman he had brought over from China for the purpose of making her his wife. Before hearing the story of how they met by Uncle … Continue reading Everybody hurts… sometimes
How to make a mommy cry
Last night at dinner, I received two gorgeous cards (and presents too, but frankly the cards meant more to me). One was from Blue Eyes and our younger son. Prior to this point, I have called that son, the Peacemaker. From here forward, I will call him Sweet Sam. I named this baby boy Sammy when … Continue reading How to make a mommy cry
Hey baby, what’s your sign?
So, depending on where you are in the world, it is either my birthday or almost my birthday right now. My birth day is May 14, 1963. I am turning 52 years old. Nah, turning 52 doesn't sound all that exciting to me either, but it is what it is. In a comment from the … Continue reading Hey baby, what’s your sign?
So what ever happened to that celibacy thing we were doing?
It didn’t work out so well. Well, maybe it did work out, for us, but we didn’t stick with the 30 days. I feel compelled to write this post and not just leave the celibacy “thing" hanging out there, so to speak. I went back and read through my other two recent posts regarding celibacy. … Continue reading So what ever happened to that celibacy thing we were doing?
Was I dropped on a planet full of sex crazed monsters?
We’re on another business trip out of town. It’s a short one, but still, there will be triggers. I guess it is inevitable at this point. I do long for a day when I am not blindsided by images I don’t want to see, and thoughts I don’t want to think. I have a lot … Continue reading Was I dropped on a planet full of sex crazed monsters?
He envisioned the devil
It is really sinking in for me that I must focus on taking care of myself first, every day. I know it is so cliché, but it is also so true. I have spent a lot of years taking care of a lot of people and I often get advice here on this blog that … Continue reading He envisioned the devil
Remembering Kyoto
This past week has been kind of stressful. We have lived in our house for nearly 20 years and after many years of being on a very low but slightly scary adjustable rate mortgage, we are finally going for a fixed rate refinance. We want to remodel the master bath at the same time we … Continue reading Remembering Kyoto
More couple’s therapy
It's Tuesday, which means therapy day all the way around. Blue Eyes has his individual therapy in the morning and we have couple's therapy in the afternoon. Last night was another rough one, but we got past it. In today's therapy, Blue Eyes did good. He changed things up on Ms. Second Chance. He let me share … Continue reading More couple’s therapy
try not to cry on my rainbow 