I am moving right past the fact that this is it, right now, as I type this, the two year anniversary of the discovery day phone call. Blue Eyes did write me a beautiful and loving thank you note acknowledging that he knows what this day represents to me and that he is grateful for everything … Continue reading Looking back, just like any other day
betrayed spouse
Looking back, part two
While glancing back through 2015 posts, something else popped out at me and that was the fact that early on I still obsessed about the sex my husband had with the other woman. And even after I fully metabolized how unimportant those sex acts were in the scheme of things, I still focused on being able … Continue reading Looking back, part two
Looking back, part one
I did something I rarely do. I went back and looked through some of my old posts. I started at the beginning of 2015 and did a quick perusal of where I have been over the past year. Wow. Eye opener. I have made a lot of forward movement out of the dark recesses of … Continue reading Looking back, part one
I will never tell him I forgive him
I have read a couple betrayed spouse posts recently, as well as an article or two, on the subject of forgiveness. I have also heard the phrase, "I will never forgive him," quite a few times. I am pretty specifically focusing on betrayed spouses forgiving their cheating spouses. Although I have mentioned forgiveness a few times on my … Continue reading I will never tell him I forgive him
Some days
I let the hot water wash over me in the shower this morning, and as I watched the steam float slowly to the ceiling, I wrote these words in my head. The feelings were strong in me. The desire to flee, the desire to be free, the desire to be alone. As if they were … Continue reading Some days
My challenge with blogging
We're still in Japan, having a wonderful time, but that doesn't mean I don't think about the betrayal. There are so many triggers everywhere. Those who read my blog know what I have been going through the past 22 months. First there was discovery, a harrowing phone call and all the revelations that followed regarding my … Continue reading My challenge with blogging
Showers
As I stood in the shower this morning, going about the usual routine of washing and conditioning my hair, cleansing my body, shaving my legs, activities that don't require much thought, I realized in my mind I was planning the day ahead. I was thinking about what was on the schedule. I had spoken to … Continue reading Showers
The good news, or the bad news?
What would you like first? Well, I have chosen to go with the bad first. The good will come next. I always choose bad news first, when given a choice. We returned last night from our five day anniversary trip to Victoria, British Columbia. On the trip, a couple of things were obvious. First, I … Continue reading The good news, or the bad news?
26 years
As of about 8:00pm tonight (U.S.-West Coast time), we will have accomplished 26 years of marriage. We were together for nearly five years prior to getting married, so that is a long time to put your faith and trust into one person. You would think the longer a couple is together, the easier marriage would … Continue reading 26 years
Sleep is a treasured commodity
The weather has cooled a bit here and the blue sky is covered in clouds. Unfortunately the clouds will not bring the much needed rain to naturally water our parched plants. We haven't had a cloudy day in weeks. It's okay, but rain would be excellent. I have started my cherry blossom painting with my … Continue reading Sleep is a treasured commodity