We’re on another business trip out of town. It’s a short one, but still, there will be triggers. I guess it is inevitable at this point. I do long for a day when I am not blindsided by images I don’t want to see, and thoughts I don’t want to think. I have a lot … Continue reading Was I dropped on a planet full of sex crazed monsters?
cheating husband
I need to talk this out, okay?
A sky that matches my mood... I have no idea where this is going, which is fairly unlike me. I really need to write now while my husband is away from the house. I need to think my thoughts out loud, in front of you all. It will probably sound crazy in the end, because … Continue reading I need to talk this out, okay?
I could be happy anywhere
Approximately three months ago I put myself on notice in the post The year has come and gone. I am responsible for my happiness. I have made a promise to myself to seek out that happiness and not let anything or anyone get in my way. Happiness used to come so easily to me. I woke up happy … Continue reading I could be happy anywhere
Couple’s therapy
Things are going well. Really well actually until today when my husband said something stupid and careless and my mood took a nose dive. Thankfully it was short lived, but totally unnecessary. His thoughtless blunders continue to remind me of the excruciatingly slow progress of his recovery and my constant fear that what I really want … Continue reading Couple’s therapy
I am the wife
I am heading off to a painting workshop in Southern California. I am a little anxious as I will be painting outside (plein air) and I will be working with acrylics. I have never painted in acrylics before, only oils and watercolors. I am reaching outside my comfort zone and I am also very excited. … Continue reading I am the wife
I will not be robbed of my story
“All sorrows can be borne if you put them in a story or tell a story about them.” Isak Dinesen About six hours ago, we crossed over 15 months since I found out my husband had a decades long secret sex life. The phone call that informed me of his most recent "intermittent" eight year affair is … Continue reading I will not be robbed of my story
Evolution of a friendship
This post has been floating around in my head for a while. A few days ago rac over at Life after his affair wrote a post about an old friend, which prompted me to actually get this out on paper, so to speak. I am not sure there is a real and good solution to … Continue reading Evolution of a friendship
“I know how difficult it must be…”
UGH. So what I really wanted to be doing while Blue Eyes is at his weekly Buddhist Meditation Meeting is writing another post about Paris, or even writing a post about how wonderful the recipe turned out that I tried for dinner tonight. The plantain tostadas with chipotle ranchero sauce, cilantro citrus marinated chicken, guacamole, … Continue reading “I know how difficult it must be…”
Confession to make
I write about how honest I am here on my blog, so I am going to make a confession that is a little uncomfortable for me. Sometimes, not very often and I am not sure exactly what in my mood brings this on, I log out of WordPress and I anonymously check cheater blogs. I … Continue reading Confession to make
Caught between
Two days ago I climbed into my beautiful car, slid onto the soft supple leather seat, started the engine--listened to it purr, and backed out of our garage. Not sure if I have ever mentioned how much I love my car. I am not an avid "car person." I have always chosen very practical vehicles. Cars that … Continue reading Caught between
try not to cry on my rainbow 