Ten years ago, I wrote this post: https://trynottocryonmyrainbow.com/2015/12/08/seeking-happiness/ The post is pretty much all about The Peacemaker, our younger child, and his bout with depression. I end the post, written in December 2015, with: “On a side note, I would like to feel some literal sunshine on my face… we are drowning here in the … Continue reading Seeking happiness, 10 years later
family
Feeling ungrounded
Today’s view and current mood: cloudy with a chance of sunshine. I’m feeling sad and out of sorts and in trying to figure out exactly what is going on, I’ve come to a few conclusions. First, with my current shoulder situation, things aren’t bouncing off me as easily as they usually do. I’ve had two … Continue reading Feeling ungrounded
Our own worst enemy
This meme was sent to Blue Eyes last week by his sister. The unfortunate thing about having really awful parents, sometimes the wounds are so deep, we simply cannot see that not only haven’t we dealt with the abuse and subsequent fallout, but we are in fact perpetuating the abuse, carrying it forward, and abusing … Continue reading Our own worst enemy
Time marches on
The parental unit. Dad holding their fur baby… a very spoiled 13 year old doodle! It’s been a doozy of a month. I spent a few weeks this summer helping my mom (with dementia) and step dad (cancer) find a decent retirement home. It’s in the neighborhood they have lived in for the past 30 … Continue reading Time marches on
Birthday memories
Okay, I admit it. I’m a bit of a control freak, but also a people pleaser. I thought about it quite a bit and then wrote on here what I was going to do for my birthday. I decided Blue Eyes could come with me, and he did. A few days before my birthday, however, … Continue reading Birthday memories
11:11 and a whole lot more
On the 11th of last month, we hit eleven years since discovery. Unbelievable how quickly the time has flown. Or has it? Some days yes, many, many days, NO! New front door on the Ojai Casa I started this entry last month, but didn’t finish it, so now it includes even more fun family stuff. … Continue reading 11:11 and a whole lot more
Some dreams do come true
Last weekend we went to visit Blue Eyes’ father in Los Angeles. Much to my astonishment, it has been an absolute pleasure dealing with Grandpa the past few months. Most of his grumpiness towards Blue Eyes and The Peacemaker is gone. Grandpa now laughs and jokes and says “I love you,” and “I miss you,” … Continue reading Some dreams do come true
Letter to the sister in law
“D, I’ve decided that in order to continue having a relationship with you, I need to be able to say my piece without any interruption. I realize, of course, that you have your own stories, feelings, trauma, etc… and me speaking my mind is in no way minimizing your story or your feelings. Our story … Continue reading Letter to the sister in law
Family, and anxiety
I’m home from a glorious trip to Hawaii. For the first 5 days it was me, Blue Eyes, and The Peacemaker celebrating their 60th & 30th birthdays respectively. Last week was spent with my mom, step dad, my brother GQ, his wife, and The Princess. My mom turned 80, and The Princess turned 9. For … Continue reading Family, and anxiety
What made me
The last time I was down in LA, the sister in law cornered me. Her mom used to do this with people. Get them alone and then blast them with venom and hate. Both mother in law and sister in law did this with Blue Eyes regularly. He was an easy target and he never … Continue reading What made me
try not to cry on my rainbow 