Street Art at Wynwood Walls, Miami Disclaimer: I wrote this post as the third in the trilogy of 'I woke up to nothing' posts. I'm over those feelings now, but March included a couple of really difficult weeks. The sadness even spilled over into our business trip to Paris, but again, I'm doing better. I'm … Continue reading Moving on
love after addiction
I woke up to nothing, part two
The next message Blue Eyes sent early Tuesday morning went like this: Been thinking of going to beach house Friday through Sunday or Monday morning are you up for it? What do you think? Ironically, one of the only "conversations" we had had the night before involved me telling Blue Eyes that our son and … Continue reading I woke up to nothing, part two
I woke up to nothing, part one
Jack Kornfield said, “At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” I've always held my husband completely accountable for all the lies, all the cheating, all the betrayal. Forgiveness came fairly easy to me (perhaps too easy). I don't hold hate and resentment in my … Continue reading I woke up to nothing, part one
Gimme that shiny thing
I had a rough week last week. Pretty sure this week is going to be filled with some ranting posts. Shall we begin? Work has been hellish lately. For quite some time I have focused on merely getting Blue Eyes through the day. I'm there for him, to talk, to discuss, to problem solve. I … Continue reading Gimme that shiny thing
I’m okay
Last week I drove to the beach house by myself. Blue Eyes and I were in a bit of a spat regarding a work issue. I had done my share, it was time for him to kick in. He promised me he would, then he didn't. It infuriated me. It was a big deal. I … Continue reading I’m okay
Love is…
I woke up this morning to my husband hugging me and telling me he loves me. The first thought that ran through my head was... he would say the same thing to any warm bodied female he happened to wake up next to, and I'm sure he has. I know he said it to the other … Continue reading Love is…
This is bullshit
Full disclosure. I wrote this title and the first few sentences below, but I don't remember doing it. I sat down to write a post today, and here was this. I was going to write about something different, but after reading blackacre's Post + comments, here I am. Blue Eyes is very aware of my … Continue reading This is bullshit
Paradise
Last month we spent nine days in Hawaii. Mostly I wanted to just relax, bask in the sunshine, walk along the beach, devour afternoon snacks by the pool. We didn't have a rental car and weren't near any actual town, just in a resort area, so we stayed put, all nine days. Paradise! Since we … Continue reading Paradise
Here’s where it gets sticky
I've written numerous times here of my support of the 12 step program for addicts, especially sex addicts. I have read numerous blog entries over the years from people whose opinion differs from mine. I get it. I have actually never been to a 12 step meeting, of any kind, so why would I think … Continue reading Here’s where it gets sticky
Speaking of amends
While I was searching around for my old post about the other woman stalking us on an airplane, I somehow came across this post regarding Blue Eyes' 8th & 9th steps and making amends. And, because Blue Eyes brought up amends in a comment on my last post (we're not together right now, I'm at … Continue reading Speaking of amends
try not to cry on my rainbow 