This afternoon we attended our weekly couple's therapy appointment. Things were going pretty well. We were discussing the "new" schedule and how Blue Eyes was generally handling being at work more and having all that responsibility and not having his addiction as a coping mechanism, and his eyes started tearing up and became red rimmed. He … Continue reading And then it all went to s*%t
married to a sex addict
Just another love story. Part nine: arriving Japan
Crazy 80's perm hair at Heian Shrine, Kyoto Japan (January 1987) All I wanted to do was collapse into Blue Eyes' arms the moment I arrived at the Osaka airport in late December 1986. I had purchased a cheap round trip student airline ticket with an open ended return (I don't even know if you can do that anymore) and … Continue reading Just another love story. Part nine: arriving Japan
Please stop saying you’re sorry
I need something pretty to go with this not so pretty post. I took this in my cutting garden with my macro lens. The bee's wings are so shiny and beautiful to me. After posting about structure yesterday, Blue Eyes came home from his very long day, which started with a 7:00am 12-step meeting, then numerous … Continue reading Please stop saying you’re sorry
A desperate need for structure
As previously mentioned, a separation period has been discussed. I had suggested starting with three months. When Blue Eyes asked me when I wanted to start the separation I said, "I don't." He seemed confused. I explained to him that when I spoke of a separation, I wanted him to know how I thought it would … Continue reading A desperate need for structure
The blog of me
Photo: my favorite tea cup from my collection, and my favorite macarons from my favorite local bakery. Disclaimer: this photo was not taken recently. I am not sitting here eating a pile of french macarons. 🙂 I guess I am in some kind of hella writing mood today, this week, this month? Blue Eyes and … Continue reading The blog of me
Why are dreams so freakin’ weird
Yesterday I finally watched the Esther Perel TEDTalk titled: 'Rethinking infidelity... a talk for anyone who has ever loved,' which had been floating around my Facebook feed. I hadn't seen it linked on any of the blogs I follow, but it was linked to my Take Your Life Back Seminar Facebook page. It was kind of … Continue reading Why are dreams so freakin’ weird
I don’t actually know what is real
"I love myself!" It was a downright hellish battle for my trauma therapist to get me to say those words last year. In one of our earlier sessions, she said, "Kat, do you love yourself?" And I sat there, for a long time, thinking. And then tears started rolling down my cheeks. At that point, I … Continue reading I don’t actually know what is real
Just another love story. Part eight: questioning the engagement
STALKER NUMBER ONE Somehow in my frantic quest to get the words out on my last entry, I completely forgot to include the story of my first stalker, also known as Blue Eyes' first girlfriend, Michelle. After Blue Eyes and I moved into our own apartment, he was feeling better post winter break surgery, he was … Continue reading Just another love story. Part eight: questioning the engagement
Break Free
I have recommended this Tony Porter: A Call To Men TED Talk before in comments to other bloggers, but I haven't ever posted it here on my blog. Blue Eyes was referred to this talk by one of his therapists. He has recommended it to others because it so resonates with him. He associates himself … Continue reading Break Free
Just another love story. Part seven: the narcissist goes in, guns blazing
This was the plan: Blue Eyes would return home with his parents after graduation. He was scheduled for intestinal surgery a few days later. I would stay at school and work my job. His surgery was scheduled for early in the morning with an expected surgery time of 4-5 hours. His family would call me … Continue reading Just another love story. Part seven: the narcissist goes in, guns blazing
try not to cry on my rainbow 