I have had numerous conversations lately swirling around the heartbreaking topic of suicide. It's one of those things that seems to happen in waves, but in fact happens all the time, thoughts of it, and the actual act of it. The familiar words of regret from those left behind, family, friends... insisting there was something … Continue reading It will never be about us
mental health
I cried, just a little…
I'm taking a break from my vacation travel posts to focus on the reality of today. We have been going through some stressful shit. I'm doing my best to not let it get to me, but then I realize although Blue Eyes wants for us to share in the handling of this rather unfortunate circumstance … Continue reading I cried, just a little…
Charting progress
This is year four of journaling on Valentine's Day. For a day that I have never cared much about, it seems, I sure do like to write about it. Journal Entry: Valentine's Day 2014 Journal Entry: Valentine's Day 2015 Journal Entry: Valentine's Day 2016 I actually don't think I like to write about it at … Continue reading Charting progress
Forever a work in progress
I have now been here, in my little home away from home, for five full weeks. Did I ever mention that I had never lived on my own before? I went straight from my parents house(s) to college life with roommates, to living with a partner and then to raising a family and building my own home … Continue reading Forever a work in progress
Emotional health
Today is day 18 of my time away. I am contemplating extending my trip by two more weeks. I am wrapped up in a cocoon of healthy thoughts and actions, and I really like it. My blood sugars are normal. My blood pressure is normal. I am six pounds from crossing back over the BMI chart obese … Continue reading Emotional health
I’m here
Since my arrival back east, a few things have happened. I have not looked back. I have not been bored or homesick or sad. I love it here, but I know my time here will come to an end and so I prepare to head back home eventually and enlist a new mindset. I'll embrace it … Continue reading I’m here
I’ve made a lot of excuses
As much as I would love to say I am just pleasantly plump, or a little chubby, I have a lot of fat on my body. I teeter between overweight and obese, per all those handy BMI calculators. For me to give this diabetes control situation a chance, I need to get into the normal … Continue reading I’ve made a lot of excuses
Complacency
It's been a while since I have been here blogging. I read, and sometimes comment, but writing on my blog is a whole different beast. Some days I feel like I could write ten entries, and then suddenly it feels like weeks go by without the desire, or the time... I am often thinking about blogging because my … Continue reading Complacency
I’m saying those words
The words I swore I never wanted to hear again. The words that pissed me off, and confused me, and made me think people just didn't get what I was going through. The words that made me want to scream. Now I'm saying them too. I hear those words coming out of my mouth, and … Continue reading I’m saying those words
I’m not good enough
Another long holiday weekend in the US has come and gone. For the past couple years I have been avoiding large get togethers with my family up north... I would call them the Mormon family, but many of them are no longer Mormon. At this point six of my father's nine children are not LDS. My … Continue reading I’m not good enough
try not to cry on my rainbow 