I have been writing a lot about Blue Eyes and his fourth step (that searching and fearless moral inventory, the one that Blue Eyes completed a few weeks ago and which is pages and pages and pages long) and fifth step (admitted to God, to themselves, and to another human being the exact nature of … Continue reading Why didn’t I think of me
12 step
Stumbling down the road to recovery
And the journey to recovery continues. I have never lived with a recovering addict, but I am pretty intuitive. I knew it wasn't going to be as easy as acknowledging his addiction and just saying no to his drug. That is called white knuckling it, and not getting to the root of the problem. They … Continue reading Stumbling down the road to recovery
A hornet’s nest
So you reached your big ole paw into my hornet's nest, huh? This morning I received an email from someone I "met" through blogging. This person is very thoughtful and well written. She referenced Chump Lady in her email. She did not refer me to Chump Lady, but I have been referred to Chump Lady's website … Continue reading A hornet’s nest
Why I stay
I have seen this saying floating around the web for a while, and I like it for the sole reason that it makes me think. It speaks to the question of whether people can change, or not. I don't think who we "really" are is a stagnant concept. I don't believe we come into this world … Continue reading Why I stay
Please stop saying you’re sorry
I need something pretty to go with this not so pretty post. I took this in my cutting garden with my macro lens. The bee's wings are so shiny and beautiful to me. After posting about structure yesterday, Blue Eyes came home from his very long day, which started with a 7:00am 12-step meeting, then numerous … Continue reading Please stop saying you’re sorry
I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
Oh boy, here we go. I don't really have a lot of time right now for blogging. I shouldn't be blogging. I should be up, and moving at the very least. I have my alarm set to get me up out of my chair every hour. Sitting is bad for me/us/people. I actually should be … Continue reading I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
A mountain of fear
Here is my dilemma. My current and evolving story is about betrayal and subsequent trauma. Blue Eyes's story is about addiction. His story has been about addiction all along. We have both been hurt. But I did not perpetrate hurt on anyone. My marriage was not struggling. Although my husband did work, at lot, he was not … Continue reading A mountain of fear
So what ever happened to that celibacy thing we were doing?
It didn’t work out so well. Well, maybe it did work out, for us, but we didn’t stick with the 30 days. I feel compelled to write this post and not just leave the celibacy “thing" hanging out there, so to speak. I went back and read through my other two recent posts regarding celibacy. … Continue reading So what ever happened to that celibacy thing we were doing?
He envisioned the devil
It is really sinking in for me that I must focus on taking care of myself first, every day. I know it is so cliché, but it is also so true. I have spent a lot of years taking care of a lot of people and I often get advice here on this blog that … Continue reading He envisioned the devil
I need to talk this out, okay?
A sky that matches my mood... I have no idea where this is going, which is fairly unlike me. I really need to write now while my husband is away from the house. I need to think my thoughts out loud, in front of you all. It will probably sound crazy in the end, because … Continue reading I need to talk this out, okay?
try not to cry on my rainbow 