I hesitated before writing this. Not because the recent news isn’t tragic (it is) but because stories like this carry a weight that doesn’t need to … Sometimes There Are No Hollywood Endings I’m linking this blog post here because I really enjoy reading this man’s words, and I appreciate his perspective in light of … Continue reading Sometimes There Are No Hollywood Endings
addiction
On doing less
Although I strive for peace and happy and all that, I do think the above meme is a bit judgy. To this person, busy does not equal peace. Peace = success. But, we all get to decide how busy we want to be. For some people, busy makes them happy, and not busy feels wrong, … Continue reading On doing less
Our own worst enemy
This meme was sent to Blue Eyes last week by his sister. The unfortunate thing about having really awful parents, sometimes the wounds are so deep, we simply cannot see that not only haven’t we dealt with the abuse and subsequent fallout, but we are in fact perpetuating the abuse, carrying it forward, and abusing … Continue reading Our own worst enemy
Mystery 101
Sunrise photo of Mt. Hood from our house courtesy of Blue Eyes We're having a bit of a heat wave here in Ojai so I'm inside working on the book. Actually it's not even noon, and already 92 degrees. The weather has been odd since we arrived last month. One day it was 80 and … Continue reading Mystery 101
I’m a reflection
New artwork for the beach house master bedroom Sometimes I sit and wonder if it’s me. But then I quickly realize it isn’t. I didn’t create this horrid situation in our marriage. I’m not to blame for the bad shit that transpired. It’s a trick and a trap that those of us who care about … Continue reading I’m a reflection
It’s been 10 years….
January Camellias in Ojai Ten years since the phone call. Ten years of recovery and sobriety for Blue Eyes. Ten years of pain for me. The ten year anniversary of the phone call (8 days ago) was spent hiking to a snowy waterfall in Dunsmuir, CA and eating smash burgers with The Peacemaker, my forever … Continue reading It’s been 10 years….
Perfect husband
I’m sick, again. I have the worst immune system. It’s not covid, but a head cold that moved into my chest with a little bit of pneumonia thrown in. My boys are all down in Los Angeles with Grandpa. He’ll be on his own soon enough as we leave for our annual trip to Hawaii … Continue reading Perfect husband
Give me strength
A beautiful October morning in Portland I’m currently sitting on another plane heading down to Los Angeles. Blue Eyes was supposed to be the one on the plane. He was scheduled to be home for the weekend, to spend a little time in his own home, with me and The Peacemaker and his dog. I … Continue reading Give me strength
Abuse
I’m struggling with a sinus infection. I would like to be out in the garden planting my newly procured veggie starts, however, they will just have to wait a couple more days. The Peacemaker and I returned Sunday night from a month+ at our house in Ojai. This winter, Southern California ended its recent drought … Continue reading Abuse
9 years ago
I received a lovely message from a new commenter "Centered" on my last post and she reminded me that I did not post this year on or around the anniversary of discovery day of my husband's secret life. And you know what? I legitimately forgot the significance of that day, completely. And although this post … Continue reading 9 years ago
try not to cry on my rainbow 