Time to finish the posts about our last couple's therapy appointment in Los Angeles. It seems so long ago. The coronavirus situation hadn't even gathered steam at that point. We were still in the throes of mourning my dad's passing, everyone had plenty of toilet paper. The toilet paper thing is still odd to me. … Continue reading A Friday in February
Fear of not being loved
During our last therapy appointment Blue Eyes brought up me, my dad, and one of my nieces as examples of people who live honestly and openly without fear and how he wants to emulate our behavior. He wants to be like us. He talked about the things he loves about me and how upon meeting … Continue reading Fear of not being loved
I’m still in that box
My baby brother, the Listener, the one who works for us and knows everything, called my mobile phone last Thursday at about 1:30pm. He didn't beat around the bush. He said, "dad is gone." Even though I knew what was coming, the words still hit me with an awful force. It wasn't shock or surprise, … Continue reading I’m still in that box
Oh happy day!
There are a few reasons I am feeling much happier today. First, Blue Eyes and I had a long discussion this afternoon regarding taking a break from couple's counseling. At first he thought we should continue because I seemed to be in a better mood when we left counseling each Tuesday afternoon. After I explained … Continue reading Oh happy day!
And then it all went to s*%t
This afternoon we attended our weekly couple's therapy appointment. Things were going pretty well. We were discussing the "new" schedule and how Blue Eyes was generally handling being at work more and having all that responsibility and not having his addiction as a coping mechanism, and his eyes started tearing up and became red rimmed. He … Continue reading And then it all went to s*%t
A desperate need for structure
As previously mentioned, a separation period has been discussed. I had suggested starting with three months. When Blue Eyes asked me when I wanted to start the separation I said, "I don't." He seemed confused. I explained to him that when I spoke of a separation, I wanted him to know how I thought it would … Continue reading A desperate need for structure
More couple’s therapy
It's Tuesday, which means therapy day all the way around. Blue Eyes has his individual therapy in the morning and we have couple's therapy in the afternoon. Last night was another rough one, but we got past it. In today's therapy, Blue Eyes did good. He changed things up on Ms. Second Chance. He let me share … Continue reading More couple’s therapy
I need a place to hide
Journal Entry: October 6, 2014 It's been a while since I talked about therapy. A couple weeks ago I decided I was ready to be done with my individual work. Basically, I was going round and round with issues with communication with my husband. I communicate, he doesn't. Me continuing to communicate in therapy, by … Continue reading I need a place to hide