Blue Eyes reads this blog. Every entry, and most comments. I am always bluntly honest with my feelings, the feelings I am feeling at the time I sit down to write. Feelings change, people change (yes, they do), but I guess what I am saying is, what you read here is the real deal. This … Continue reading Let me be clear
sex addiction
My relationship with s-anon
What is my relationship with S-Anon? Well, basically, I don't have one. In a perfect world my husband would have worked with his therapist, told the therapist the truth about his secret sex life, all of it, and then worked with the therapist on a way to more safely inform me of Blue Eyes' sexual … Continue reading My relationship with s-anon
On being the wife of a sex addict
After writing my last post, two things happened. First, my husband wrote an entry on his own blog talking about misery and that he is an addict and recovery is hard, and a choice, and that he is powerless and when he acknowledges his powerlessness, he is better able to see his way out of … Continue reading On being the wife of a sex addict
Sex, Lies and Obsession
In between watching Wimbledon matches, I ran across a movie on the Lifetime Channel called 'Sex, Lies and Obsession' starring Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna. It's a very old movie and I remembered hearing about it or watching it years ago, maybe 15 years ago, WAY before dday, but didn't remember any of the details. … Continue reading Sex, Lies and Obsession
More about year four
We returned Saturday night from a wonderful road trip to Yosemite National Park in California, but that is not what I am writing about today. Today, I need to go back in time a couple weeks and discuss a conversation between me and Blue Eyes. I have been spending more and more time at the … Continue reading More about year four
The long and winding road
The road out is not straight and smooth. I felt bad for Blue Eyes last week. He attended a meeting with one of his favorite 12 step guys and during sharing he found out the guy had lost his sobriety a couple weeks prior. He was four years in and now he's starting over at … Continue reading The long and winding road
Complacency
It's been a while since I have been here blogging. I read, and sometimes comment, but writing on my blog is a whole different beast. Some days I feel like I could write ten entries, and then suddenly it feels like weeks go by without the desire, or the time... I am often thinking about blogging because my … Continue reading Complacency
Where do I fit in?
After my heart was ripped out by my son's words, and my husband read the script to me, and I burst into tears asking him where I fit in?, Blue Eyes put his face in his hands and wept. His body shook as he was wracked with sobs. The difference between my sobs and his... they end, rather … Continue reading Where do I fit in?
Just another love story. Part twelve: coming home
I was so sad to leave Blue Eyes in Japan that hot and humid July, 1987. I had no idea at that point whether we would stay together. The thing I knew was that I needed to remain true to myself and the promises I had made to me. I have always been a nurturer, … Continue reading Just another love story. Part twelve: coming home
Like a dog with a bone
That's me. A dog. With a bone. Mean comments give me the opportunity to purge, and apparently I am not done venting yet. When someone denies my husband's sex addiction diagnosis, it doesn't make me question his addiction, it makes me question the motives of the denier, but it also causes me to think about just … Continue reading Like a dog with a bone
try not to cry on my rainbow 