Ten years ago, I wrote this post: https://trynottocryonmyrainbow.com/2015/12/08/seeking-happiness/ The post is pretty much all about The Peacemaker, our younger child, and his bout with depression. I end the post, written in December 2015, with: “On a side note, I would like to feel some literal sunshine on my face… we are drowning here in the … Continue reading Seeking happiness, 10 years later
survival after betrayal
Time marches on
The parental unit. Dad holding their fur baby… a very spoiled 13 year old doodle! It’s been a doozy of a month. I spent a few weeks this summer helping my mom (with dementia) and step dad (cancer) find a decent retirement home. It’s in the neighborhood they have lived in for the past 30 … Continue reading Time marches on
Mystery 101
Sunrise photo of Mt. Hood from our house courtesy of Blue Eyes We're having a bit of a heat wave here in Ojai so I'm inside working on the book. Actually it's not even noon, and already 92 degrees. The weather has been odd since we arrived last month. One day it was 80 and … Continue reading Mystery 101
What’s going on
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6NXnxTNIWkc And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bedJust to get it all out what's in my headAnd I, I am feeling a little peculiar And so I wake in the morning and I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream from the top … Continue reading What’s going on
You are going to be okay, part two
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, blossoms are popping, it’s spring in Portland. I’m doing some cleaning of the closets and other such spring kinda stuff. Life is not perfect, but it’s good. Eleven years ago today, I was three months into healing from the most shocking revelation, that my husband was a … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part two
It’s been 10 years….
January Camellias in Ojai Ten years since the phone call. Ten years of recovery and sobriety for Blue Eyes. Ten years of pain for me. The ten year anniversary of the phone call (8 days ago) was spent hiking to a snowy waterfall in Dunsmuir, CA and eating smash burgers with The Peacemaker, my forever … Continue reading It’s been 10 years….
Toxic People
We went retro this year and used The Peacemaker's first Hanukkiah. Night 6. I am so incredibly blessed to have both my boys home for the holiday season. I absolutely hate that I feel like I need to write this post, on Christmas. I try to write about the happy stuff too, but like Yelp … Continue reading Toxic People
Work life balance
As a quick side note, yesterday was the 8-year anniversary of this blog. Woohoo! 601 posts later, I'm still here. This blog was a life saver on many many days. Mostly fellow bloggers and blog followers were a life saver to me, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now, back to writing... … Continue reading Work life balance
It’s okay to feel really bad some days
I’m giving myself permission to feel really shitty today. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I want more happiness in my life. The tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes right now, threatening to spill over, and it’s okay. My chest is tight. I feel like I want to run away. I’m in … Continue reading It’s okay to feel really bad some days
We lost
Drive to the beach house this afternoon. I’m writing this here because I don’t have the energy to talk about it with anyone in real life, not even Blue Eyes. But it is really weighing my heart down, so here I go. I’m hoping getting this out into the blogosphere will help release what feels … Continue reading We lost
try not to cry on my rainbow 