Life has been moving right along, no real problems, no real worries. We finally closed financing on our beach house. We broke ground and took a quick drive over to the property to watch the first anchors and pilings going in for the foundation. A round trip drive to the coast means a little less … Continue reading What happens when they break the rules
survival after betrayal
On being “strong”
Ocean Waters 2, 10" x 10" oil on canvas “To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami I find the above quote so intriguing. When I think of it in terms of Blue Eyes, I think sure that is his greatest challenge. To … Continue reading On being “strong”
Protecting my heart
After hours and hours of individual trauma therapy, one of the pivotal pieces of advice I ostensibly came away with was that I needed to take better care of myself. I needed to focus more on what truly makes me a whole person and not focus so much on the needs of others. I had done … Continue reading Protecting my heart
At the end of the day…
I never thought I would be sharing these words. As a matter of fact, 19 months ago I would not have said I had ever been stabbed in the back. But, in fact, I have. I have been lied to and betrayed and left to heal alone by the person I relied on most for safety and security. … Continue reading At the end of the day…
Why didn’t I think of me
I have been writing a lot about Blue Eyes and his fourth step (that searching and fearless moral inventory, the one that Blue Eyes completed a few weeks ago and which is pages and pages and pages long) and fifth step (admitted to God, to themselves, and to another human being the exact nature of … Continue reading Why didn’t I think of me
Living in my moment
Okay. Here I am. Facing my own reality. I am hungry and have to leave in 20 minutes for a dreaded couple's therapy session. At least I got a shower in. Could someone please bring me something healthy to eat. Is there such a thing as healthy comfort food? I didn't think so. I dread … Continue reading Living in my moment
Stumbling down the road to recovery
And the journey to recovery continues. I have never lived with a recovering addict, but I am pretty intuitive. I knew it wasn't going to be as easy as acknowledging his addiction and just saying no to his drug. That is called white knuckling it, and not getting to the root of the problem. They … Continue reading Stumbling down the road to recovery
This is no joke…
This post is a bit of a continuation of yesterday's. B posted the following comment on A hornet's nest: Chump Lady is a commercial enterprise to enrich Chump Lady financially. There is no more you need to know about “her”. B is correct. When I was at the site, I did notice that she sells a coffee … Continue reading This is no joke…
Inspiration
I am still trying to master acrylic paints. I have a couple paintings lying around now that are mostly complete. I guess they should be done, but I'm not totally thrilled with a couple aspects of each, so I keep them in a 'hmmm, what am I going to do with you' pile. Today I … Continue reading Inspiration
And then it all went to s*%t
This afternoon we attended our weekly couple's therapy appointment. Things were going pretty well. We were discussing the "new" schedule and how Blue Eyes was generally handling being at work more and having all that responsibility and not having his addiction as a coping mechanism, and his eyes started tearing up and became red rimmed. He … Continue reading And then it all went to s*%t
try not to cry on my rainbow 