After hours and hours of individual trauma therapy, one of the pivotal pieces of advice I ostensibly came away with was that I needed to take better care of myself. I needed to focus more on what truly makes me a whole person and not focus so much on the needs of others. I had done … Continue reading Protecting my heart
survival after betrayal
At the end of the day…
I never thought I would be sharing these words. As a matter of fact, 19 months ago I would not have said I had ever been stabbed in the back. But, in fact, I have. I have been lied to and betrayed and left to heal alone by the person I relied on most for safety and security. … Continue reading At the end of the day…
Why didn’t I think of me
I have been writing a lot about Blue Eyes and his fourth step (that searching and fearless moral inventory, the one that Blue Eyes completed a few weeks ago and which is pages and pages and pages long) and fifth step (admitted to God, to themselves, and to another human being the exact nature of … Continue reading Why didn’t I think of me
Living in my moment
Okay. Here I am. Facing my own reality. I am hungry and have to leave in 20 minutes for a dreaded couple's therapy session. At least I got a shower in. Could someone please bring me something healthy to eat. Is there such a thing as healthy comfort food? I didn't think so. I dread … Continue reading Living in my moment
Stumbling down the road to recovery
And the journey to recovery continues. I have never lived with a recovering addict, but I am pretty intuitive. I knew it wasn't going to be as easy as acknowledging his addiction and just saying no to his drug. That is called white knuckling it, and not getting to the root of the problem. They … Continue reading Stumbling down the road to recovery
This is no joke…
This post is a bit of a continuation of yesterday's. B posted the following comment on A hornet's nest: Chump Lady is a commercial enterprise to enrich Chump Lady financially. There is no more you need to know about “her”. B is correct. When I was at the site, I did notice that she sells a coffee … Continue reading This is no joke…
Inspiration
I am still trying to master acrylic paints. I have a couple paintings lying around now that are mostly complete. I guess they should be done, but I'm not totally thrilled with a couple aspects of each, so I keep them in a 'hmmm, what am I going to do with you' pile. Today I … Continue reading Inspiration
And then it all went to s*%t
This afternoon we attended our weekly couple's therapy appointment. Things were going pretty well. We were discussing the "new" schedule and how Blue Eyes was generally handling being at work more and having all that responsibility and not having his addiction as a coping mechanism, and his eyes started tearing up and became red rimmed. He … Continue reading And then it all went to s*%t
Broken
A few days ago I got a call from our yard maintenance guy. He is an older fellow, maybe 70 and he has injured his knee. He decided he will no longer be able to engage in his retirement "hobby" of yard maintenance for extra money. I am so sad. I'm sad he injured himself, … Continue reading Broken
We are all in pain
I am reblogging an old post of mine because I want to remind myself of my own words as frustration sets in, once again. I think May 2015 is going to go down as my second busiest blogging month yet. I am not quite sure why, other than we have been home most of the … Continue reading We are all in pain
try not to cry on my rainbow 