Journal Entry: January 12, 2015 Logging in and out of WordPress in Japanese, it's pretty cool. Living with a recovering sex addict really sucks. I can see them all, all the personalities that reside in him and represent the healthy and unhealthy bits. He cannot see them, or feel them. He is working on it, … Continue reading We are all just players in his game
survival after betrayal
Another dark road, part one
As I sit here in trigger "happy" Tokyo, I decided I would post this entry from back in Hawaii in December. My words then represent some of my feelings as I sit here in a place where my husband traveled with his affair partner three times over a period of four years. I am journaling, … Continue reading Another dark road, part one
Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
Journal Entry: November 24, 2014 Once we knew therapy was ending with Chatty Kathy, both my husband and I talked about the fact that we NEEDED to find a new couple's counselor, right away. I no longer go to individual therapy, and my husband is still very much trying to tackle the recovery process. When Blue … Continue reading Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
Saving a marriage
Journal Entry: November 5, 2014 You know how they say a marriage can be better after an affair… Yeah, I thought it sounded like a bunch of bullshit to me too. Ten months ago I cried and screamed that there was no way my marriage could be saved, much less be better. Some days I … Continue reading Saving a marriage
Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
Journal Entry: October 31, 2014 “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” -Maya Angelou Since my life has been somewhat of a horror show since January, I guess it is appropriate to have my husband join me on this Halloween evening and share some insight into his brain. This morning … Continue reading Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
Yeah, let’s get this over with right now
Journal Entry: October 31, 2014 Later in the evening, after our disaster of a couple's therapy session, I had my husband call Chatty Kathy's office and leave a message telling her we were canceling our appointment for the following week and we would not be returning to her for counseling. Here is the transcript of … Continue reading Yeah, let’s get this over with right now
The ambush, part one
Journal Entry: October 30, 2014 This is the note I wrote to my husband after this morning’s disclosure: Some day I hope you can understand that every time, every fucking time you disclose information that you have been keeping from me, in other words lying about, it is like you are stabbing me with a … Continue reading The ambush, part one
Telling my sister
Journal Entry: October 27, 2014 “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” –Mark Twain I have mentioned before that I have 10 siblings and I adore them all. My parents were married when they were young, had me before they were both 20, … Continue reading Telling my sister
Fear is my greatest enemy
Journal Entry: October 25, 2014 I said good-bye to my husband at the airport at the not so sunshiny hour of 4:00 yesterday morning. I was surviving on two hours sleep and feeling a whole lot of anxiety. Okay, I was downright scared and shaking part of the time. I have not traveled on a … Continue reading Fear is my greatest enemy
Bonding road trip from hell, part four
Journal Entry: October 16, 2014 Going back home. I woke up yesterday feeling down. In hindsight, I think I was totally burnt out. All my energy was gone. Used up. I had spent days now with my husband with barely a break. It was getting to be too much. In a car, in a hotel … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part four
try not to cry on my rainbow 