After Blue Eyes’ brother passed, there was a little 15 month old boy left behind. Blue Eyes spent as much time with that boy as he possibly could, it was good for both of them. Blue Eyes helping to fill an empty void in the little boy’s life, the stark absence of a father he barely got to know, and the little boy doing the same for Blue Eyes. A precious reminder of a boy, a brother, Blue Eyes once adored.
At the unveiling of the brother’s headstone, nearly a year after his death, the family got together and embraced the little boy. Even the grandparents who had previously disowned him decided that as much as they despised his mother, they would not, in fact, abandon their grandchild. At this point, their presence in the life of the little boy hindered the relationship Blue Eyes had with him. The mil and sil were soon fighting over the little boy. Blue Eyes needed to abandon the situation. It was toxic. The widow quickly turned to the in-laws for guidance, no doubt thinking somehow she would be able to talk them in to giving her some of their money to support their grandchild. At this point, the petite 30 year old, who had grown up penniless in a small town in China, was a millionaire. There was also a hefty trust set up for the little boy and his education. Somehow that wasn’t good enough for her, and probably never will be.
Exactly one week after d-day, the widow called our home saying she desperately wanted the little boy to have a relationship with Blue Eyes. At this point the little boy was nearly four years old and hadn’t seen Blue Eyes for almost two years. The widow said she wanted to bring the little boy to us and have him spend a few hours with us at our house. We were confused. Both Blue Eyes and I were physically sick with head colds and again, it was only one week from d-day. I was a walking zombie. We agreed because the widow sounded so desperate. As it turns out, not only did the little boy appear sick himself, but the widow arrived at our house with her new male friend, another middle-aged Jewish attorney. They were using us as babysitters. They dropped the little boy at our house in the morning, and headed off to a birthday party at a winery about 45 minutes from our house. When they left, they said they would return at about 9:00pm! The little boy was sad. He was standing there with three adults, me, Blue Eyes, and Sammy, three virtual strangers. He wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t use the potty, he wouldn’t talk. We took him to the toy store. He didn’t want anything, but we purchased him a race track with cars and a building set anyway. We don’t have a lot of toys left over at our house except Sammy’s extensive hot wheel car collection and a huge collection of Brio Train sets. We tried to take the little boy to lunch, but again he wouldn’t eat. His eyes were so sad. He definitely missed his mom, but it seemed like something more to me. He just had sad eyes. We took him to a big field and ran around with him and he sort of played soccer with Sammy. We took him home and he perked up a little with all the toys. He wouldn’t leave Sammy’s side. Sammy and Blue Eyes had previously scheduled hair appointments in the middle of the afternoon. The little boy stayed back with me. He kept saying he wanted Sammy. He cried a little. I held him. He fell asleep in my lap. When he woke up, he was disoriented and he looked scared. Sammy was home by then and they played some kid friendly video games. This perked the little boy right up and he was willing to eat a half of a peanut butter sandwich and drink some milk. It got dark and he started asking for his mother. We told him she would be there soon. By about 9:00pm, he seemed completely comfortable with us and was feeling much better. He was laughing and running around and playing with our pets. His mother and her boyfriend showed up at 11:00pm and quickly whisked the little boy away. They were heading downtown to a hotel and wanted to know if we would join them for breakfast the next morning. We declined the invitation.
The little boy will be six years old this coming February. He has started school. He is playing soccer. We have not seen him since he was at our house. I see pictures of him and his mother on Facebook. He is growing fast. The mil and sil fight over him. We know this from when we were on speaking terms with sister. Even though the widow has a lot of money, if anyone wants to see the little boy, they have to fly them both down to Los Angeles, or the family has to fly up to them. Whoever pays for the airfare, tickets to Disneyland, etc… (whether it be the in-laws, or the sister) are the ones that get all the time with the little boy. They won’t let the other see him on their dime. The in-laws were up north visiting the little boy in August. Mil sent an email to all of us (even though we had had no contact with her for 18 months at this point) saying they were expecting us all up there (as if nothing had happened). We didn’t answer the email.
No contact with the family means no contact with anyone in the family. Even a little contact with any of them means the door gets flung wide open. We had to leave the little boy behind. I secretly hope there will be a time and a place in the future where we can reconnect with the little boy, who won’t be little anymore. For now, we watch from afar.