I never thought about running away from home as a child. Ever. Why can't people just say what they mean, and do what they say they are going to do? Why does the world have to be so complicated? Why are there so many liars and cheaters? Why can't there be one single day of my … Continue reading Running away
betrayed spouse
Dreamers
Some people think it is odd that I can remember my dreams with such clarity. I guess a lot of people can't remember their dreams, and if they can, they can't remember much detail. About once a week I have a really vivid dream that stays with me for at least a few hours, if … Continue reading Dreamers
Why did I do that?
I just talked with a therapist that Blue Eyes and I had seen early on. I'll call her Ms. Honey because she is so sweet. Strangely enough, Ms. Honey actually answered her phone. I have never had that happen before at any kind of doctor or therapist office. I always get voice mail. I was a bit taken … Continue reading Why did I do that?
The only way out, is right on through
As previously mentioned, Blue Eyes had invited me to go with him to his weekly therapy appointment yesterday morning. We decided to organize our thoughts the night before, to make sure there was some semblance of order between us before unleashing our mess on The Shrink. I started to become frustrated as I felt like maybe my going … Continue reading The only way out, is right on through
The sinner and the saint
Well, here goes. We had a doozy of a day on Thursday. Numerous commenters to this blog have called me a saint. I chuckle at the moniker, I am not a religious person and know no other connotation for the word. They are specifically speaking to my role as wife of the now infamous Blue Eyes. … Continue reading The sinner and the saint
The third year, part 2
I have this incredible ability these days to leave the shit mostly behind when I am not with Blue Eyes. I walked out the door Tuesday morning, and off to a fun day with a friend. We drove to the coast and visited the beach house property and had a delightful Whole30 compliant lunch within view of … Continue reading The third year, part 2
Here we go again
Anger is often called a secondary emotion because we tend to resort to anger in order to protect ourselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings. A primary feeling is what is felt immediately before we feel anger. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry. We might first feel afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, … Continue reading Here we go again
Where do I fit in?
After my heart was ripped out by my son's words, and my husband read the script to me, and I burst into tears asking him where I fit in?, Blue Eyes put his face in his hands and wept. His body shook as he was wracked with sobs. The difference between my sobs and his... they end, rather … Continue reading Where do I fit in?
A tumble, then a fall
After my last post, things went a bit bad to worse. It is difficult to explain these days how moody we can both be, for differing reasons, under the circumstances. I read a blog post a couple days ago that caused me to go to a place of great pain. I honestly thought I was past … Continue reading A tumble, then a fall
Mercy
I feel vindicated. Just a little bit. Anyone who reads this blog knows sometimes I get something stuck, in my craw so to speak. I have already admitted I have a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder. People who know me, know this. Spending all this time exercising to iTunes music these days, I am really … Continue reading Mercy
try not to cry on my rainbow 