We are recently home from paradise. I returned from my six weeks of healthful living in North Carolina, spent one week at home seeing my own doctor and signing up for a local wellness center that offers all the fun classes I will want to take in order to preserve the exercise portion of my healthy lifestyle, … Continue reading It still hurts
betrayed spouse
Who knows the truth
After Blue Eyes' disclosures of his secret life and subsequent diagnosis as a sex addict, I kinda wanted everyone to know the truth. I'm not exactly sure why. Eventually I know I wanted people to understand sex addiction. I want it brought out of the darkness and into the light so people will know they … Continue reading Who knows the truth
Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
If you have been reading my blog, specifically these entries about our history, you know that I was living a certain reality, loving life, hating my in-laws, married with a new baby, struggling to make ends meet, but you also know the bigger picture, and the reality that my husband was living a very different version of … Continue reading Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
Crazy making
I have been sick for the past few days. Not horrible sick, mainly worn down, not sleeping enough, mild fever, sinus headache that won't go away... There's a lot going on at our house. We have recently repaired a major leak on our lower level (aka, the basement), which created a ton of dust (I … Continue reading Crazy making
I’m saying those words
The words I swore I never wanted to hear again. The words that pissed me off, and confused me, and made me think people just didn't get what I was going through. The words that made me want to scream. Now I'm saying them too. I hear those words coming out of my mouth, and … Continue reading I’m saying those words
Therapy is nice…
So, I think I am at this place. The place where I can get past those horrible, frustrating, triggering, and often times painful moments without more therapy. At least for now. I cancelled my last two therapy appointments. I just wasn't feeling it. But, never say never, right? A couple things I love about the … Continue reading Therapy is nice…
Breakfast conversation
My rose petal breakfast tea. We are here in La La Land and Blue Eyes has back to back meetings... conference calls, in-person meetings, etc... He broke away for 20 minutes to have room service breakfast with me. Honestly I don't know where this conversation came from, I can't remember, but as I sat there … Continue reading Breakfast conversation
Can it be…
Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time rewritten every line? If we had the chance to do it all again Tell me, would we, would we, Could we, could we? No no no, that is not what I meant to write, but as soon as I typed those words, … Continue reading Can it be…
A forever reminder
In a hotel room in Paris, I sat bolt upright in bed and gripped my left forearm with my right hand. There was a searing pain there on my arm. Whoa, I thought what the heck is going on. I know I had been having a nightmare, I was sweaty and disoriented, but I couldn't … Continue reading A forever reminder
Our time apart
I am way behind on my posts, but for very good reason. We have been traveling most of the past month. So, even though my last couple posts were a bit melancholy, they were not really about Blue Eyes or our relationship, such as it is. At this point, our progress, for both me and Blue Eyes, … Continue reading Our time apart
try not to cry on my rainbow 