Advice not wanted

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Feeding Frenzy

Other than hurtful words that have carelessly been uttered from my husband’s own mouth, and I knew he didn’t want to hurt me further, but he did, because healing is a long and arduous process for a recovering addict and every single day for him is plagued with shame and self doubt… I would have to say THE most destructive aspect of this entire betrayal/infidelity/cheating husband predicament for me, approximately three years in now, is the fucking words on the internet written by self proclaimed mistresses. There is absolutely no sense whatsoever to be attached to why I would still read any of this drivel, and generally I don’t. Honestly, I have never before in my life heard so much of the same deluded rhetoric as on these blogs and in these articles written by “other women.” Of course I have no business being on these sites and/or reading any of it. But dammit, it still happens somehow. I see a link somewhere when I have googled something generally unrelated and I cannot stop watching the freak show play out in front of me. I cannot stop the train from barreling down the tracks. I cannot stop myself from hoping beyond hope that there is at least one mistress out there who actually understands the level of self denial and rationalization she is embracing when she enters into such a destructive “relationship.” I do believe that any woman that would enter a relationship with a taken man is a masochist who suffers from low self esteem. The odds for their success are just so low. And even if they do “get their man,” the man is an unreformed lying cheater (at best). Who really wants that? Never mind.

And no, I do not buy into the whole “she is faultless because she made no promises to the wife. The husband is solely to blame.” The husband IS solely to blame for his part in it, and she is totally to blame for her part in it. “It” being the lies they tell themselves and each other to justify a dark, dirty, sexual secret. If these relationships are so fucking great, why are they secret? Why doesn’t he just leave his awful wife for the wonderfully perfect mistress. Yeah. I know. It doesn’t make any sense to me either. Wake up ladies.

I was having a conversation with The Peacemaker in the kitchen earlier today and we were discussing a specific case, of a specific mistress blogger that I found very early on (who I will not call out here, she already has enough hits on her pitiful blog). I haven’t read her blog in over 18 months and I don’t intend to go back to it now, but her story goes back nearly five years and I read about three years worth during my darkest days. The conversation all started with one of The Peacemaker’s high school friends having recently had a “boob job.” He was so shocked when he saw her. He considered her beyond beautiful before her surgery. Now he just wonders why? The girls he knows that have slim bodies and large breasts are already complaining about back pain… and they are in their early 20’s. Why would someone willingly subject themselves to the inevitable pain? I told him a lot of women do it to make themselves feel more attractive. Of course women have breast augmentation and breast surgery for any number of reasons, but in many cases, it is because they think larger breasts make them more attractive to men. It was a foreign concept to him. To be honest, despite who their father is, both my boys are pretty down to earth, and practical. I guess not too terribly surprising since I did 80% of the parenting. Somehow something he said reminded me of that mistress blogger and how the words on her blog literally bled unhappiness, self loathing, and depression. Somehow knowing she is now miserable does not make me feel any better about her story because while she was in an affair with a married man 20 years her senior, she waxed on and on about why the guy was cheating with her. You know… the wife doesn’t have sex with him and the mistress is a sexual goddess (at this point, knowing what I know about my husband’s three mistresses, I find this laughable and pathetic and I don’t think ours is an isolated case), he won’t leave her because he doesn’t want to break up the family, it’s so expensive to divorce, blah, blah, blah. Lies. When he finally dumped her (the mistress blogger), which was inevitable because their relationship was dirty and secret and those “stolen moments” were spent in her bed, not in public. Not to mention her description of him reminded me a lot of my own husband, a diagnosed sex addict. It was not a real relationship, HELLO! So pretty quickly on the heals of being dumped, and acknowledging that the guy who was cheating with her, was probably cheating ON her with other women, not to mention his own wife, she went about posting pictures of herself in skimpy lingerie (obscuring her face, of course, because these are all anonymous blogs) accentuating her breasts, bending forward and shoving them together to give her maximum cleavage. There were no words, just picture after picture of her in lingerie she must have purchased for her trysts with a married man. At that point I realized it was truly a big waste of my time to be following this woman’s story. There is no way to convince women that they have seriously missed the mark when they think their cup size and how they look in lingerie represents their worth to society. There just isn’t. Turning that one on its head takes years and years of good therapy.

This evening, as I was checking my yahoo email, a link to an article popped up in the news window. The title was ’10 Terrible Truths Your Husband’s Mistress Wants You to Know.’ Scary, right? It’s almost like the internet is reading my mind and listening to conversations I am having with my son. Fucking scary. Anyway, the article starts out by saying how much worse the whole married man/mistress/wife fiasco is for the mistress than it is for the wife, and beyond that, the 10 terrible truths are just so ridiculous and hurtful and delusional I refuse to link to any of it here. But… for those of us who are trying to forgive, and move on, and make a life with men who made mistakes, or are in recovery, or whatever, the article is beyond hurtful.  They throw out things like… “biology defeats monogamy,” “the cheating fuels his Madonna-prostitute complex,” “he gets things he does not and cannot get from you… and “he will never be the same again.” Seriously? Oh brother, get a life. Get your own husbands for that matter. And by the way, here are their suggestions for us pathetic wives: “Keep yourself healthy and sexy for him.” “Know that the man of the house needs to feel in power.” “Keep challenging yourself in the bedroom.” Nobody actually believes this bullshit, right? Right?

This “article” harkens back to the archaic concept that all a wife needs to do to keep her husband from straying is to have more sex with him. This kind of advice is destructive and just plain wrong. If a man is cheating on his wife, HE has major issues that he needs to deal with or, as one commenter says, “Alternatively, you can kick his lying, unfaithful ass to the curb.” We all have that choice.

I am making yet another vow to myself not to read these kinds of blogs/articles in the future because they just light my fuse. But damn if I don’t keep hoping that this crazy world we live in will start making sense one of these days. Is it just me, or is delusion the new normal?

31 thoughts on “Advice not wanted

  1. I’m sort of surprised I never got sucked into any mistress blogs, because getting on that train seems like something I would totally do. Now I’m past the point of even having an interest in what any whore (opps, “mistress”) would say, even the ones that were my husband’s. It’s weird though that you peaked my interest in the blog and what any mistress/whore would have to say for three years about it.

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    • Yeah, the mistress blog thing for me was very early on. There was just something familiar about what I was talking with my son about recently and it prompted the memory of how miserable that woman was that thought she could use her body to lure men. Even typing this I realized I let out a huge *SIGH* Her “affair” didn’t last that long. The rest of the blog is basically about how miserable she is in her life. Blah, blah, blah. As I have mentioned before, I tried to be nice to her, but she refused to respond or post my comment. She really only posts comments by slimy creeping men and other women like her. To each their own.

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  2. I can’t even imagine how damaging it is to come across these sorts of blogs and articles. I think back on those early days, weeks, and months after Dday- I was looking up any information I could find on affairs online. If I had read an article like the one you mentioned in your post I would have felt further damaged and insecure.

    It takes a very long time to really understand and believe that a spouse’s affair has to do with their short comings and not the faithful spouses.

    The ow can spin it anyway she wants in order to believe what she’s doing is okay but I really hope that deep down all of them realize how severely damaging their actions are. You can’t just wash your hands of it and say – well it’s because his wife doesn’t … (insert whatever excuse they want). Neither is it okay to justify it by saying- she isn’t the one breaking the vows. This is a wound I know I will carry for the rest of my life. My husband holds the lions share of responsibility for inflicting that would but the ow can’t minimize her role – she was also a willing participant.

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    • Very true. We have been forced to look within ourselves for our strength and remind ourselves of who we really are and why we make good choices. The OW, from everything I have read and from what I know of the OW in my life, do not do this. They seem content blaming others for their hurtful mistakes and continuing to make the same mistakes over and over. The thought that anything they say could or would be considered viable advice is laughable, if it wasn’t so hurtful. xoxo

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  3. Kat, when I first discovered that my husband had been using prostitutes, I looked online for information about prostitutes and found “prostitute blogs,” much like you found the mistress blogs. Reading these was painful because prostitution was often made to seem glamorous, sexy, daring, etc. (Of course, that is not the reality of the sex trade.) I’m happy to say, I stopped that practice. But here’s something interesting. I googled the mistress article you referenced, “10 Truths Your Husband’s Mistress Wants You to Know.” Much of it sounded kind of familiar, and then I remembered reading a similar article about “your husband’s prostitute,.” I found it- “10 Harsh Truths Your Husband’s Prostitute Wants You to Know,” written by, of course, a prostitute. Interesting how similar the ‘truths’ are, Prostitute wants us to know that “monogamy is against mens’ biological nature,” “your marriage has become an asexual friendship,” “the Madonna- Prostitute complex,” “he wants to have his cake and eat it too,” “he gets things from me he can’t get from you.” Amazing, isn’t it, how a prostitute and a mistress came up with such a similar list? Maybe it’s the same person? Or maybe it’s a writer and us wives are being “played,” yet again. My point is it’s all bullshit, and a ploy to play on insecurities with fake “advice” and have us all running to buy products, or click on more articles with ads. No doubt there’s some connection between “clicks” and how writers are paid. Anyway, what I know for sure is that those articles were not written by mistresses or prostitutes. They were written by someone who has something to sell..

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    • I agree, Maggie. It’s all part of this fake news epidemic we are dealing with. What a sick sick game they are playing. We are all being manipulated. I mean it popped up on my Yahoo page along with stuff about Kanye West and this season’s hottest handbags. Of course I should not have clicked on it. At first all the mistress articles made me sad. Now they just make me mad. Unfortunately the mistress blog I am talking about is all too real. She really did meet numerous married men online and one in particular that she had an ongoing affair with (who resembled my husband in numerous ways). There are plenty of mistress bloggers out there (especially ones that like to write erotica and I have no idea whether any of those are real–they seem totally fabricated) and even though this one claims she would never want to “tell the wife,” or “break up his family,” she did plenty of blaming the wife on her blog. I realize I am not that wife and that man was not my husband, but it still blows my mind how many people are willing to hurt other people in the pursuit of their own selfish wants. Also, I actually think some prostitutes consider themselves mistresses. The lines have become quite blurred. xoxo

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  4. True Love – the third mindfulness training

    Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I am committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society. Knowing that sexual desire is not love, and that sexual activity motivated by craving always harms myself as well as others, I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without true love and a deep, long-term commitment made known to my family and friends. I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct. Seeing that body and mind are one, I am committed to learning appropriate ways to take care of my sexual energy and cultivating loving kindness, compassion, joy and inclusiveness – which are the four basic elements of true love – for my greater happiness and the greater happiness of others. Practicing true love, we know that we will continue beautifully into the future.

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    • Thanks for re-sharing. If at any point in our life we can be better, be true and honest to and with ourselves and with everyone else, it is a blessing. There is so much more to love than sex, especially when those sexual acts are cloaked in lies. ❤

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  5. People’s priorities got so messed up, and there is a justification for everything. I sometimes feel like my morals are really outdated– but I like them. I don’t want to be cool with stuff that opposes my sensibilities. If I’m old fashioned, so be it.
    And yes, I agree that mistresses are women who have low self esteem. Why else would they be willing to accept so little and remain on the sidelines?

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    • Yes, C. Keep those old fashioned morals in tact. If you compromise who you are for a man, it will all be on his terms and inevitably not go your way. We can’t change them, and they should not be able to change us. We all just need to take a moment and stop and think… is what I am doing compromising who I really am? xoxo

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        • My mother told me at a pretty young age that if I was ever in any relationship – including friends – that I had to keep secret – from anyone – that I shouldn’t be in it. Seems about right. Can’t see why that is old-fashioned. Just human. And humane.

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          • We live in strange times I guess. People make you feel like an outcast because you have morals. Cheating is the norm and “love” is a word that people rarely use while the F word flies around like nobodies business. I don’t get it. What happened to people?

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            • I don’t know whether people have changed. I think this has happened for eternity. And people stayed in sad, unhappy relationships out of fear and stigma. Maybe there is more promiscuity. Probably. Popular culture, social media, yeah. Pretty awful. Morals does seem to carry some negative, ‘superiority’ connotations. Weird. I think moral behaviour is quite the opposite. Living a real life that has firm values is grounding. Earthy. I’m with you, caroline.

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              • I do think there is a lot of rationalization going on and then blaming human nature (people weren’t meant to be in monogamous relationships, etc… ) and individual morals is a subjective concept, but the deal is, if people don’t want to be in a monogamous relationship, fine. Live your life however you please, but don’t commit to someone, promise to love and cherish only them, and then go off and decide you need more than one, for whatever reason. And the person they are cheating with… don’t delude yourself into thinking you are not a party to the deceit, regardless of what your moral standards are. That is what is happening. Somehow abandoning other’s needs to feed our own has become quite common. I hate the thought of it. Apparently being honest has become really really difficult for a lot of people. I think the media is contributing to this epidemic of selfish and hurtful behavior, but ultimately it is the responsibility of each of us individually to live our lives in a way that does not hurt people. It is really discouraging that so many have abandoned basic human kindness. xoxo to you both! ❤

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                • In our early years, we talked a lot about this, Roger and myself. I didn’t want marriage and kind of had to explain that to him. He grew up with marriage as just what you do. I told him I loved him to bits. But wanted to be with only him, hopefully forever, but realistically (I thought) told him that I knew people grow and change and maybe one day one of us may decide they don’t want it anymore. If that hapoened then we would have some discussions and work out what to do. It was nearly 30 years ago and relationship property law changed here to make absolutely no distinction between marriage, civil unions or de facto relationships once past three years of cohabitation. But I never got the opportunity to hear that he had changed his mind. I never got to discuss a future. I never got to make sexual health decisions.all the conversations we had over those decades meant nothing. I wish we’d never fucking had them! At least then maybe I could think, he didn’t know …. ugh.

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                  • and I know you know… it was not about the lack of a marriage certificate, in my opinion. It was a chance to run away from some things he created, not about running away from you. It was a mistake, a crack in his own moral code, not an obliteration of who he was or his code, or even his friendship and relationship with you. He didn’t leave you for her. He stayed with you and carried on in secret because he was embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid. He was human in the most devastating of ways. That discussion never happened because he did not really intend to break your union. In my opinion. I have read every word you have written. This is how I interpret your story. Unfortunately his mistake has led to that ultimate conversation, a byproduct, a consequence. I think a lot of us go through points in our life where we do things and we do not truly anticipate the consequences of our actions, but our journey must proceed along anyway. We all do the best we can. Some mistakes and their consequences are truly life altering. But such is life. It’s not a point in time, but a culmination of all those points. ❤

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                    • Yes. I know. But don’t grownups know about consequences? Don’t they understand they can hurt people? Yes. Of course he knew. And did it anyway. Fucker! And he really did want us to separate most of that time. But was too weak arsed to leave me. He wanted me to leave him. Dick! Eventually he realised he’d fucked up and ended it with her. But still didn’t have the balls to have an adult conversation. Even knowing she was threatening to tell me. I will never understand any of that secrecy and delusion. I don’t find it hard to be honest. And it gets me in trouble. I call it as I see it too often. People don’t seem to like that much. I am continually having to push my instincts down to gratify social niceties. Think I may be slightly Aspie. Seriously. Sorry if that offends anyone diagnosed on the spectrum. But I wonder …

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  6. Kat
    I follow one OW blog and I must say she is pretty pathetic. Always waxing poetic how the “universe” has it in for her. Life’s so unfair (which I agree, it is) She’s so jealous of seeing the happy couples at the mall she just can’t bring herself to go Christmas shopping. How she just can’t find love no matter how hard she tries, blah blah blahhhhh. I’ve considered unsubscribing but my inner need for schadenfreude prevents me. I like to project this poor woman’s misery onto the OW that was complicit in destroying my life. So I get pretty much a chuckle out of it. HaHa you’re miserable. I know very immature on my part right :/

    Yes, they are completely delusional and I honestly don’t know how most of these people get through life at all. So many seem to be on the bottom rung of a societal ladder and I suppose that’s what makes them a good mistress. MM know these freaks won’t reject or criticize or demand too much from them other than money. And I will say I think most men in affairs are ok with the money part. I also believe most OW know the MM will never leave his wife and are quite aware of their usefulness to the MM. And sadly once that usefulness is over she knows she’s history as the MM leaves without so much as a glance back over their shoulders. Cold bastard that they are!!!

    As a woman, hell as a human, I know I should feel sympathy for these unfortunate and ignorant woman but I don’t. I’ve tried, God knows I’ve tried to muster sympathy or even empathy, but I just can’t. Sometimes I talk a good talk about sympathy but that’s a lie. I like it that they are miserable. Their lives and misery are of their own choosing. So live with it. Sucks to be them.

    The LAST person I would EVER consider advice about how to “keep my man” would be a mistress. Thank. you. very. much. I’ve seen these articles and they are simply more fodder for my disdain and ridicule and YES judgement. Go ahead, judge me because I judge!

    And in the end what do they have? Nothing, they die old, alone, bitter and sad. So I say dress up in your tacky lingerie and make a fool of yourself OW’s. This just gives me more to laugh at about you.

    I so wish I could figure out which blog you are reading.

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    • I totally get the desire to project the words of these women onto the women that cheated with our husbands. I TOTALLY get that. When I read the mistress blogs, I heard so many running themes throughout their entries. Delusional thinking that they are just so hot in bed that men cannot resist them. That just screams low self esteem to me. Placing blame on the wives, also a running theme. Honestly I want to just SCREAM… he is LYING. But even if he isn’t lying about his theoretically miserable marriage, why doesn’t he leave??? None of the excuses ever make any real sense, and yet, women believe them anyway. One of the running themes of the OW in our life was that she often just said… “I know I’m just a booty call.” Who even uses that term “booty call?” She is a 60 year old woman! The OW in our life has very little family and is obviously very lonely and willing to put out on a moment’s notice and spend thousands of her own dollars to travel to frozen tundras in the dead of winter just to spend a few minutes with my pathetic sex addict husband. She also had a lot of free time devoted to stalking me, so there’s that. Also… speaking of tacky lingerie… this particular charmer is a hoarder and purchases all her clothing in second hand stores including her LINGERIE. OMG. No question about the pathetic nature of their “relationship,” but it still begs the question… HOW FUCKED UP IS MY HUSBAND AND HOW COULD I NOT SEE IT. OY VEY!!!

      I can email you the name of the mistress blog if you would like. Just let me know. I really don’t want to give her any press here, but her blog was quite disturbing, and then entertaining when everything inevitably fell apart. It’s like reading a book and knowing the ending. I liken it to Girl on the Train… I so had that one figured out from the beginning. 😉 xo

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      • LOLOLOL wait, cause I’m dying here!!! She buys her lingerie second hand?!?!?! OMG, just choked on my coffee. Now I llllooovvve me a tasty bargain from my fave consignment store, HOWEVER…..used lingerie??? Um, NO, not ever, zero, zilch, NO.

        Ah yeah, my husband’s choices to roll in the muck? Yep he did that. He did that A LOT!!! Do I think less of him because he did? You bet I do. Do I understand why he did it? Sort of. He “dined” at Ruth’s Chris for a long time and I guess that just wasn’t good enough that he had to go out and “dine” at McDonalds. Well turns out he hated McDonalds, found out McDonalds was such a baddddd choice, was actually hurting him mentally, physically and emotionally. He wanted that table back at Ruth’s Chris. You get my drift.

        And yes I am in the same camp. My husband is 100% culpable and responsible for his betrayal to me, but she was complicit in aiding and abetting that behavior. She played her role. And besides it’s MY prerogative to think however I choose about her. And I think she’s a whore and I shall project whatever I want on to whomever I choose right ? 🙂 HaHa–as some say “my pain, my rules”. Well ok not so much and I so know this is MY way of building my protective walls and protecting myself. But I’m ok with that.

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        • Me too! I am also taking ownership of my life, my walls, my protection… and I say, it’s about time. It seems I let others dictate how I should behave in life, as a sister, a daughter, a mother, and a partner… and look what happened. DISASTER. No more! I also will never again feel even the least bit embarrassed by or guilty for any of my husband’s behavior. I never took responsibility for it, but I did in my broken moments think his cheating was somehow about me. Nope. Crystal clear now. I take zero responsibility for his bad and broken behavior (and there was some crazy ass behavior with a crazy old whore). Some days I still stop and just go no, no, no. That did not happen. It can’t be. It’s just too freaking crazy. We all have choices to do the right thing. When we don’t, there are consequences. Here I am… a big fucking consequence. xo

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  7. I’m speaking from the mom’s perspective of having three boys- I’m afraid that the world isn’t going to change. As parents, we must adjust our modeling of good behavior and verbal interaction so that our children continue to see it in “live”action. It saddens me to know that the(my) boys can interact with girls through a device and that completely eliminates real emotions gained through real discovery. It eliminates the challenge/experience of real dating- as we knew it. The girls are getting “false praise” through their media posts and not through their real actions or accomplishments. I’m certain we (as parents) don’t have the right antidote, but we are certainly educating them so that they hopefully know how to behave when socially engaged with another.
    Speaking from a wife’s perspective- my husband is around women for the most part of each work day. It amazes me the way they dress when they enter his office. I often wonder their motives. I’m very conscientious of my dress code when representing my children at their events or my husband/myself in the business environment. On the contrary, I also like to be sexy for my husband when we take a romantic vacation. Too often, busy moms lose that sexual connection with their spouses – only to attend to their looks after a separation or divorce.
    The picture you’ve painted of this other woman is very sad. I picture her in a dark small house, with no kids or animals. I bet she has one or two “sometimes” friends and no extracurricular activities. Empty lives breed unhealthy behaviors. She doesn’t appreciate the value of real happiness. She doesn’t value humans….. and sadly, there are many others like her out there.
    Here’s to freeing our minds of the sluts.
    Xoxo, A

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    • I know neither of us have daughters, A, but it does seem to be an epidemic of misplaced values and low self worth, which is completely validated by the media. I know people talk about our boys getting instant gratification from social media/porn/etc… and not having to engage in real relationships, but I don’t see that with my boys or their friends. They long for relationships that are built on more than how short the skirt is or how low cut the blouse, of the girl they are taking to the movies. They are heavily influenced by their peer groups and sometimes I think the best we can do is have open conversations with them about the behavior we see in them and around them, but their peers will always have a lot of sway. I agree, I don’t think we are that far gone that we, as parents, can’t at least help guide them through those awkward pre-teen/teen years, by far the most difficult years so far in my parenting experience. I know a lot of moms who are trying to do the same with their daughters, but again. the message out there is still predominantly that a female’s worth resides in how she looks. Add that to the fact that many of us have been broken down along the way by parents, friends, teachers, coaches, life, etc… It is an uphill battle. However, we can all choose a noble path, one that does not include stealing what belongs to others in order to make ourselves feel better. I do think this other woman blogger, and frankly what I know about my husband’s other women, is that they are incredibly unhappy. The blogger actually has two kids, no pets. She was in an abusive marriage (according to her) and lost custody of her kids at divorce. Most of the time she is alone. Her extracurricular activities include sex chat rooms and dating sites. I think the bottom line is she doesn’t value herself and therefore it is very difficult to truly value anyone else. It is definitely time to free my mind. I’m closing my eyes, taking deep breaths… ❤

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  8. Those articles drive me crazy! Just keep in shape and looking attractive? Thanks! Hey, somebody get that memo to Jennifer Aniston, Christie Brinkley, Halle Berry and Sandra Bullock! You let yourselves go, ladies; that’s why your men cheated on you.

    The affair is more difficult for the affair partner? O.M.G! They never fail to play the victim, do they? Last time I checked the mistress chose her role. She chose to get involved with a married man. I was never asked if I minded if my husband had an affair. I’ve also lost a whole lot more than good ol’ Harley. I had a 20+ year relationship with him, moved all around the country for him, had his children, was his biggest cheerleader, went through all the tough parts of life with him. She’s sitting back and reaping the rewards. Or would have if he didn’t quit his job.

    They always have excuses for their horrifying behavior and it makes me sick.

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    • They all have excuses for why they are not culpable. I know I couldn’t live with myself if I broke up a family. Probably the reason I have never and would never do such a thing. Wrong is wrong. Some healthy part of us has to be shut down in order to take things that don’t belong to us, even if they are dangled out there like a pretty sparkly little trinket… by a man. Thanks for commenting.

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