I was actually working diligently on something else, but decided to come here to vent. I'm not traumatized, I'm not even upset. Just, well, I guess, exasperated? I want to blow off a little steam. Blue Eyes had therapy this morning. He called me post therapy to ask if he could bring me home some lunch. … Continue reading Plan, revised.
healing
“The only winning move is not to play.”
When I think back to how things used to be, with Blue Eyes, it is difficult to remove the umbrella of pain and sadness and trauma that seems to hover over those memories. If I dig deep though, I know what we had was pretty great in the scheme of things. We had a long term loving relationship. … Continue reading “The only winning move is not to play.”
Post 300
Watercolor Rainbow by Olga Shvartsur Can you believe it? This is my 300th post here on Try Not to Cry on My Rainbow. Crazy. I'll try and make it a good one. While Blue Eyes and I were away on our spa hotel excursion, I received a call from Ms. Honey, one of the CSATs … Continue reading Post 300
On loving kindness
I took a little break from technology, blogging, etc... while Blue Eyes and I set off on a trip to a local spa hotel in the wine country. It wasn't technically a Valentine's celebration (we all know how I feel about Valentine's Day), although it did coincidentally happen over Valentine's Day. It was a gift to me … Continue reading On loving kindness
Fight for me already
Look Toward The Light I chose to marry Blue Eyes in part because he is a sweet, kind, loving, passionate, generous, vulnerable human. All of those attributes are still very much a part of him. They never left him. There were just so many hidden traits working against him, tugging at his ability to be a really … Continue reading Fight for me already
Dreamers
Some people think it is odd that I can remember my dreams with such clarity. I guess a lot of people can't remember their dreams, and if they can, they can't remember much detail. About once a week I have a really vivid dream that stays with me for at least a few hours, if … Continue reading Dreamers
Why did I do that?
I just talked with a therapist that Blue Eyes and I had seen early on. I'll call her Ms. Honey because she is so sweet. Strangely enough, Ms. Honey actually answered her phone. I have never had that happen before at any kind of doctor or therapist office. I always get voice mail. I was a bit taken … Continue reading Why did I do that?
The only way out, is right on through
As previously mentioned, Blue Eyes had invited me to go with him to his weekly therapy appointment yesterday morning. We decided to organize our thoughts the night before, to make sure there was some semblance of order between us before unleashing our mess on The Shrink. I started to become frustrated as I felt like maybe my going … Continue reading The only way out, is right on through
The sinner and the saint
Well, here goes. We had a doozy of a day on Thursday. Numerous commenters to this blog have called me a saint. I chuckle at the moniker, I am not a religious person and know no other connotation for the word. They are specifically speaking to my role as wife of the now infamous Blue Eyes. … Continue reading The sinner and the saint
The third year, part 2
I have this incredible ability these days to leave the shit mostly behind when I am not with Blue Eyes. I walked out the door Tuesday morning, and off to a fun day with a friend. We drove to the coast and visited the beach house property and had a delightful Whole30 compliant lunch within view of … Continue reading The third year, part 2
try not to cry on my rainbow 