Malibu, Photo Credit: Jenna Day There's a piece of me that belongs to Los Angeles. I'm a west coast girl and have been visiting LA since long before I met my husband, and I met him at 20! Blue Eyes is from The San Fernando Valley, just northwest of Los Angeles proper. He's a "Valley … Continue reading Everything I need
love after addiction
What do I want
I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want
They’re talking about me
My sister was talking about me. This would be the sister who shared the same divorced parents, the same childhood experiences, the same trauma. Despite her mental illness, or maybe because of it, she is sharp as a tack. She's insightful, and intuitive, and I know she looks up to me. I'm her big sister, … Continue reading They’re talking about me
Here we go…
Just when I started acclimating to the idea that we will be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars of money to a lying building contractor and his bully of an attorney, Blue Eyes has decided to "reconcile" with his parents. WHAT??? He has been talking about sending them a letter for a while. I've written … Continue reading Here we go…
Standing in judgment
Those beautiful beach blues. I spent a wonderful five nights at the beach house a while back. A couple of the days were really lovely, weather-wise. Blue skies and 60 degrees in November is pure bliss on the Oregon Coast. Those two "balmy" days just happened to be ones where Blue Eyes was in the … Continue reading Standing in judgment
Adulting is hard
Columbia River Gorge I've been a little down lately. Not sure if it is the change of seasons, change of clocks, change of scenery, or what. Pretty sure it's not change of seasons as Autumn is my favorite and our weather here in the Pacific Northwest has been glorious. Probably not change of clocks. I'm … Continue reading Adulting is hard
Do better
A blog follower sent me this quote the other day through Instagram. The message she sent with it simply said, "I love her." I have never met the blog follower, but I consider her a friend. Some friendships start out a bit tumultuous, as this friendship did. The follower didn't believe in sex addiction and … Continue reading Do better
Mind blown 🤯
POST #500 As I was responding to a comment by Spouse of a Sex Addict from my last post, it triggered a memory from arbitration. As mentioned, arbitration week was hell. We listened to the contractor on our beach house construction project lie, repeatedly. He spoke softly and gently and made it look like he … Continue reading Mind blown 🤯
Triggered
This past week I finished watching the television series called The Fall (2013-2016). I watched it all the way through over a few weeks time. It is dark, and intense. The story of a serial killer (Jamie Dornan) in Belfast, Ireland, and the detective (Gillian Anderson) brought in to track him down. It was a … Continue reading Triggered
Two stepping
In a comment Blue Eyes made on the My identity post a few days ago, he wrote "I am not a two stepper." I had no idea what a "two stepper" was in relation to addiction. So I asked him what it meant to him, then I looked it up (to see what it meant to others). … Continue reading Two stepping
try not to cry on my rainbow 