It’s been a difficult summer, but I’m still gonna miss it. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/01/opinion/sunday/why-women-compete-with-each-other.html I read the above NY Times opinion piece a few years ago about why women compete with each other. There's always a lot of talk, when it comes to human behavior, that revolves around natural instincts versus learned behavior. I get that when … Continue reading I’m not your competition…
married to a sex addict
Do you wonder why I run away
This is really a post to my husband. A post out of utter frustration to my 8 1/2 years sober sex addict husband. I would talk to him face to face, but he’s too busy working, at 11:30pm. At diagnosis Blue Eyes acknowledged who and what he was and started on his recovery journey… a … Continue reading Do you wonder why I run away
Finding my place to land
I’m not sure what’s going on with me or why writing hasn’t been a priority in my life, but alas, I am back and with the goal of writing more often because, I do enjoy it. I meant to do this post yesterday, and the day before, and nearly every day before that for…. months? … Continue reading Finding my place to land
Be kind
One of my all time favorite photos of my baby, The Peacemaker (Sammy). It just happens to be with the mother-in-law. Quite a pair! Today is my mother-in-law’s 81st birthday. This would be the woman who birthed and raised my incredibly dysfunctional husband. I met her 36 1/2 years ago. She was 44 years old, … Continue reading Be kind
Seven years
Good Night Moon, 12/31/20 Today marks the 7th anniversary of the phone call. This day holds no specific or magnified trauma for me anymore. I don’t count backwards or forwards from January 11th anymore. I’m not sure how to define healing really. It’s true the path is not linear or smooth. Since the trauma symptoms … Continue reading Seven years
You are going to be okay, part one
A very pretty day in the neighborhood WordPress reminded me last weekend that this blog is now six years old. I started writing about nine months into my healing journey. I had been journaling for months and it took quite a while to put all those words into legitimate, readable blog entries. I finally caught … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part one
Purging
Since Blue Eyes reconnected with his parents in December, I have not had any contact with them other than the one dinner in Los Angeles. This is a good thing for me. Blue Eyes tells me they are quite often these days sending him messages asking about Portland. They express disgust with what is theoretically … Continue reading Purging
In the time of Covid
Well. It has certainly been a while since I sat down to write a post. More than two months time. I did think shelter in place would mean more time to write and truthfully I do have time to write. I simply haven't been inspired to write. There are lots of topics to write about. … Continue reading In the time of Covid
We’re in this together
Huge peony blooms from my cutting garden. I know it’s confusing to some, how or even why I would want to stay partnered with a person who lied and cheated and systematically betrayed me. How to get past the wounds, and why? Why trust? Why knowingly make myself vulnerable to a proven abuser. The question … Continue reading We’re in this together
Things we remember
Full disclosure. I am going to admit straight off that this is a petty and immature post. I rarely feel this way, at least not anymore, but there's something about being cooped up for weeks that has me tense and a bit ungrounded. I just had a video call with my doc and we are … Continue reading Things we remember
