Tonight I have a number of other journal entries to post from our recent trip to Hawaii, as it turned out to be full of triggers and trauma, with some breakthroughs along the way, and I do want to share those. However, we just returned home and I am exhausted, depleted, anxious, and feeling sick... and … Continue reading The stalker whore makes an appearance
mistress
A present day breakthrough
Yesterday I wrote a blog post that included a journal entry from this past August. I talked about how that day, August 14, was the one-year anniversary of the day my husband broke up with his eight-year affair partner on a drive home from a one-day business trip to a nearby city. Coincidentally, last night … Continue reading A present day breakthrough
Heartbroken
Journal Entry: August 14, 2014 Today is another trigger filled day. Today is the one year anniversary of the last day my husband saw Camilla. They did not have sex. He had meetings out of town in a large city three hours away by car. From the phone records, I know they had been texting … Continue reading Heartbroken
The phone bill doesn’t lie
journal Entry: August 8, 2014 Things have been going pretty well since our anniversary. No real overly dramatic moments for me, although the PTSD still knocks me on my ass on a regular basis. Our older son visited for a few days last week and we all went out to our new beach property. My husband was able … Continue reading The phone bill doesn’t lie
Feeding the Beast: my husband’s affair partners
journal Entry: July 30, 2014 Today is the anniversary of the last time my husband had sexual relations with a woman other than me. Nearly 30 years after we started dating, and one day after our 24th wedding anniversary, my husband had a "quickie" sexual liaison with his eight year affair partner, for the very … Continue reading Feeding the Beast: my husband’s affair partners
He finally called the police
Journal Entry: July 14, 2014 At my last therapy appointment I mentioned something about the fact that the other woman was still calling. My therapist, Chatty Kathy, seemed pretty shocked the woman was still calling, and also asked me why I hadn't changed my number out yet. I told her I had tried, but the … Continue reading He finally called the police
Flirting with triggers, again
Journal Entry: November 25, 2014 I fear that if I don't intersperse some present day posts in here, I will never get caught up to current with this blog. Dday was January 11, 2014. My husband's jilted "mistress" called my mobile phone and I think assumed she would break up my marriage so she could … Continue reading Flirting with triggers, again
Falling back in love with my husband
Journal Entry: July 7, 2014 After last night's mission, I now know that this other woman, my husband's last acting out partner, the alcoholic, hoarding whore (whore-der?), will never be able to sneak up on me (which was one of my fears). I will see this crazy looking woman coming from a mile away. There is … Continue reading Falling back in love with my husband
The Reconnaissance Mission
Journal Entry: July 6, 2014 I read somewhere that being a mistress felt like being a weed in someone else's rose garden, and that makes total sense to me! Since my husband has known the old alcoholic whore for what is now nine years, he is pretty aware of her schedule. He did not spend … Continue reading The Reconnaissance Mission
Bursting Bubbles
Journal Entry: July 5, 2014 During my phone conversation with The Director a couple weeks ago, before my husband’s 9-day, he asked me some questions about Blue Eyes’ habits. He asked me to categorize my husband’s acting out behaviors as I now see them. These would all be behaviors I knew nothing about until six … Continue reading Bursting Bubbles
try not to cry on my rainbow 