Journal Entry: November 25, 2014
I fear that if I don’t intersperse some present day posts in here, I will never get caught up to current with this blog.
Dday was January 11, 2014. My husband’s jilted “mistress” called my mobile phone and I think assumed she would break up my marriage so she could then have my husband as her own. She’s delusional. My husband and I are together, but as you can see from my posts thus far, it has not been an easy road. I am still triggered every day. My husband sees a sex addiction specialist and attends 12 step meetings three times per week. We also see a couple’s therapist once a week. Today is November 25, and here is how my morning went…
My husband and I had breakfast this morning at a new little café in our neighborhood. They serve delicious breakfast and lunch items and their speciality is Liege Waffles. You know the waffle from Belgium with little nuggets of sugar throughout making them extra crunchy, sweet and delicious? No, you aren’t familiar? Well, they are wonderful and I hope you get to try one soon.
Even though we had had a passionate love making session early this morning (like 2:00am early), and I hadn’t gotten enough sleep, I was still feeling pretty good. As we were sitting in the restaurant nearly finished with our meal, my husband is talking about his sponsor (The Sponsor) who was recently out of town on a trip by himself. The Sponsor and his wife have a new puppy and the wife stayed home (same wife I talked about in this post) to take care of the puppy. When The Sponsor returned, The Wife was so excited to see him, and hand the puppy over to him. The Sponsor says to my husband: “if you really want your wife to love and appreciate you, take an untrained puppy off her hands after a few days alone with him.” Remembering the conversation with The Sponsor, my husband smiles, and kind of chuckles.
REALLY? REALLY??? I realize my husband is not a mind reader, but I also realize he has no idea the damage he single handedly wreaked on our life and that this is all still relatively new to me. We just passed the 10-month mark of dday, but I am trying to metabolize 15 YEARS OF CHEATING! The last time my husband had sex with his affair partner was 1 year, 3 months, 30 days, and approximately 23 hours ago. Yeah, I know. It is stuck in my head like shrapnel from a war injury… a war I am still fighting. It was last summer, and the story goes a little like this: we return from a glorious two-week trip to Paris for my 50th birthday. A few days later, on Father’s Day, we pick up a new mini Australian Shepherd puppy for my husband. My husband has been obsessing about this puppy for months. What a treat. We get to pick him up on Father’s Day. He is such a cutie (his picture is my Gravatar photo). A couple weeks later, square in the middle of training cute, little puppy, my husband starts having intestinal issues and is checked into the hospital, where he stays for SEVEN FULL DAYS. When we finally get him released, I hire a puppy sitter and whisk him off to the coast for a few days of rest and relaxation. We return home on the Sunday before our wedding anniversary. Then, and I know this from phone records (a post for a different day), that pretty much the minute we return from the coast, my husband starts in calling and obsessively texting the whore, again. Apparently Paris, a new puppy, and a romantic trip to the coast just is not enough to deter him from his addictive patterns and overwhelming feelings of neediness after a dreaded trip to the hospital. Even though he had been out of the hospital and healing for days, he could not get his secret sex life out of his mind. They obsessively call and text each other for over a week, but he can’t take it any more and he schedules a time to “see” her. Meanwhile, the day before this hookup with the alcoholic whore, it’s our 24th wedding anniversary. Happy fucking anniversary, baby and my gift to you, is fucking another woman behind your back. Now, back to the puppy thing… on the day my husband decides he cannot live without fucking the whore, is the day our crazy puppy and our five year old golden, a beautiful angel (I love my fur babies) are scheduled to go to the vet, together, for shots and check ups. Now, this is a lot of dog for one person to handle and I assume my husband will go with me for his puppy’s check up. He tells me he cannot possibly make the vet appointment as he has important meetings that morning. I check his calendar, nothing. He says he forgot to put them on the calendar, and then he makes something up. I am frustrated, but business is business—family always comes second. Then, pretty much at the same time that I am ushering about 85 pounds of dog, including one crazy unruly puppy into the vet’s office, my husband is having sex with a woman across town, a “quickie” that by his own admission lasts all of about three minutes (including ripping their clothes off).
When my husband returns home later that day, he does not ask how the vet appointment went. He does not even remember there was a vet appointment, or he just doesn’t care. He is, however, sporting a brand spanking new haircut and shave and he looks happy. So much for all this remorse and guilt bullshit.
So, yeah, no, I am not going to laugh with you about the cute story of how adorable it is when a sex addict husband comes home and takes HIS untrained puppy off his wife’s hands. You fucking asshole!