As previously mentioned, Blue Eyes had invited me to go with him to his weekly therapy appointment yesterday morning. We decided to organize our thoughts the night before, to make sure there was some semblance of order between us before unleashing our mess on The Shrink. I started to become frustrated as I felt like maybe my going … Continue reading The only way out, is right on through
sex addict recovery
The sinner and the saint
Well, here goes. We had a doozy of a day on Thursday. Numerous commenters to this blog have called me a saint. I chuckle at the moniker, I am not a religious person and know no other connotation for the word. They are specifically speaking to my role as wife of the now infamous Blue Eyes. … Continue reading The sinner and the saint
The third year, part 2
I have this incredible ability these days to leave the shit mostly behind when I am not with Blue Eyes. I walked out the door Tuesday morning, and off to a fun day with a friend. We drove to the coast and visited the beach house property and had a delightful Whole30 compliant lunch within view of … Continue reading The third year, part 2
Here we go again
Anger is often called a secondary emotion because we tend to resort to anger in order to protect ourselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings. A primary feeling is what is felt immediately before we feel anger. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry. We might first feel afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, … Continue reading Here we go again
Where do I fit in?
After my heart was ripped out by my son's words, and my husband read the script to me, and I burst into tears asking him where I fit in?, Blue Eyes put his face in his hands and wept. His body shook as he was wracked with sobs. The difference between my sobs and his... they end, rather … Continue reading Where do I fit in?
A tumble, then a fall
After my last post, things went a bit bad to worse. It is difficult to explain these days how moody we can both be, for differing reasons, under the circumstances. I read a blog post a couple days ago that caused me to go to a place of great pain. I honestly thought I was past … Continue reading A tumble, then a fall
The third year, part 1
On December 11, 2015, Blue Eyes commenced his third year of sobriety. Last week marked the beginning of year three of recovery for me and Blue Eyes individually, and for our marriage. Last night we discussed this morning's schedule. Blue Eyes would go to his 7:00am meeting with a friend and to the one-hour fellowship after. The friend would … Continue reading The third year, part 1
Looking back, part two
While glancing back through 2015 posts, something else popped out at me and that was the fact that early on I still obsessed about the sex my husband had with the other woman. And even after I fully metabolized how unimportant those sex acts were in the scheme of things, I still focused on being able … Continue reading Looking back, part two
Looking back, part one
I did something I rarely do. I went back and looked through some of my old posts. I started at the beginning of 2015 and did a quick perusal of where I have been over the past year. Wow. Eye opener. I have made a lot of forward movement out of the dark recesses of … Continue reading Looking back, part one
It warms my heart
Before going to sleep on Saturday eve, Blue Eyes and I checked the weather for both home and the beach property. We are thinking of taking a drive soon to view the progress on the house foundation. I didn't think Blue Eyes was quite ready for the drive on Sunday, so I was mainly looking … Continue reading It warms my heart
try not to cry on my rainbow 