It's been a few days since I posted. Not because I have nothing to write about, or even that I haven't had time to be on WP as I have continued reading blogs and thinking about my blog. I have been working on another post for about a week, but I have put that aside … Continue reading For my own good
sex addict recovery
Cleansing tears
Sunday morning, Blue Eyes made me breakfast and we sat at the table talking about a healthy plan for when we travel. He will have meetings most of the day, some even centering around meals. I will be on my own much of the time and although I will have some work that will need … Continue reading Cleansing tears
It started on Valentine’s Day
Even though I feel stronger than I did a year ago, stronger as a person and stronger in my marriage, I am not sure I will ever be able to go through an entire day without some reference to the hell my husband has put me through. On Valentine’s Day afternoon, our dogs would not … Continue reading It started on Valentine’s Day
The year has come and gone
Like most people, I am on a journey to self awareness, happiness, health, contentment, whatever you want to call it. It's not a race, I don't have to rush it. There is no one destination or result that will mark the completion of this journey, except death. Every day until then, I have the power within myself to improve, … Continue reading The year has come and gone
The year that felt like a lifetime
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” –author unknown An excerpt from the Sexaholics Anonymous 90 Days of Meditations (SA 2013) written by a recovering addict: SECRETS REVEAL SICKNESS I'm as … Continue reading The year that felt like a lifetime
It’s not love. It’s safety I seek
Journal Entry: January 18, 2015 My husband loves me. I know he does. I know he always has. That is not what scares me. On our last day in Tokyo, we had afternoon tea with GQ, his wife, and the little ray of sunshine. Then we walked them to Tokyo Station and said good-bye. We … Continue reading It’s not love. It’s safety I seek
What I wish he had said
"Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process." -Anne Wilson Schaef Journal Entry: January 16, 2015 A couple months ago I asked my husband to write something about his first step that I could post on my blog. He hemmed and hawed and procrastinated and eventually wrote something, and then … Continue reading What I wish he had said
We are all just players in his game
Journal Entry: January 12, 2015 Logging in and out of WordPress in Japanese, it's pretty cool. Living with a recovering sex addict really sucks. I can see them all, all the personalities that reside in him and represent the healthy and unhealthy bits. He cannot see them, or feel them. He is working on it, … Continue reading We are all just players in his game
Another dark road, part two
Hello All. Well, this is it, January 11. I have reached the one year anniversary of discovery day. In about eight hours, it will be the exact moment one year ago today that a delusional woman called me on my mobile phone and informed me that she had been having sex with my husband for … Continue reading Another dark road, part two
Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
Journal Entry: November 24, 2014 Once we knew therapy was ending with Chatty Kathy, both my husband and I talked about the fact that we NEEDED to find a new couple's counselor, right away. I no longer go to individual therapy, and my husband is still very much trying to tackle the recovery process. When Blue … Continue reading Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
try not to cry on my rainbow 