Even though the years have come and gone, and I have healed from the betrayal trauma, I remember. I remember every single day, and every tear shed, and every shooting pain to my heart. I remember every feeling. I still don’t feel like there was anyone in my “real life” that got me, that truly … Continue reading I remember
sex addiction
Be kind to yourself
Welcome Spring: Pink Foxglove I was digging around in my blog when I came across this very old post written by me at about 14 months post discovery. The comment I have copied below was written by a wife of a sex addict who was at about 2.5 years post her discovery. The two of … Continue reading Be kind to yourself
12 years later…
2025 First, I will say, that living 30 years with an undiscovered and therefore unrecovered addict, and another 12 years with a recovering addict, now, in the year 2026, things aren’t bad. I guess, at this point, as the wife of a sex addict, I can say, things are good. Our marriage is fine. Nobody’s … Continue reading 12 years later…
Character development
I'm not a writer, so the idea of writing a book seems like a monstrous task right about now. I have done some outlines (actually, quite a few over the past five years) and am currently working on character development. I'm also reading books in the genre that mine will be in. I have enjoyed … Continue reading Character development
Perfect husband
I’m sick, again. I have the worst immune system. It’s not covid, but a head cold that moved into my chest with a little bit of pneumonia thrown in. My boys are all down in Los Angeles with Grandpa. He’ll be on his own soon enough as we leave for our annual trip to Hawaii … Continue reading Perfect husband
It’s okay to feel really bad some days
I’m giving myself permission to feel really shitty today. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I want more happiness in my life. The tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes right now, threatening to spill over, and it’s okay. My chest is tight. I feel like I want to run away. I’m in … Continue reading It’s okay to feel really bad some days
Seven years
Good Night Moon, 12/31/20 Today marks the 7th anniversary of the phone call. This day holds no specific or magnified trauma for me anymore. I don’t count backwards or forwards from January 11th anymore. I’m not sure how to define healing really. It’s true the path is not linear or smooth. Since the trauma symptoms … Continue reading Seven years
You are going to be okay, part one
A very pretty day in the neighborhood WordPress reminded me last weekend that this blog is now six years old. I started writing about nine months into my healing journey. I had been journaling for months and it took quite a while to put all those words into legitimate, readable blog entries. I finally caught … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part one
Purging
Since Blue Eyes reconnected with his parents in December, I have not had any contact with them other than the one dinner in Los Angeles. This is a good thing for me. Blue Eyes tells me they are quite often these days sending him messages asking about Portland. They express disgust with what is theoretically … Continue reading Purging
Separated at birth
My other blue-eyed boy! Okay guys. Not sure how long this post will stay up. I’m having a super silly day. I can’t wipe the smile off my face since two followers compared the eyes of my husband’s former sex partner to Donald Trump. Maybe it’s the doubling up of my anti-depressants that’s making me … Continue reading Separated at birth
try not to cry on my rainbow 