After writing my last post, two things happened. First, my husband wrote an entry on his own blog talking about misery and that he is an addict and recovery is hard, and a choice, and that he is powerless and when he acknowledges his powerlessness, he is better able to see his way out of … Continue reading On being the wife of a sex addict
survival after betrayal
I’m okay, but…
My blog entries from this summer bear out the fact that I have struggled. I've tried to work through the why. To be honest, I feel like Blue Eyes has been doing some gaslighting... I know he doesn't realize this is what he is doing, but I do. His seeing my unease and confusion, and … Continue reading I’m okay, but…
Mystery man, or liar?
Blogger friend, B, has prompted another post. She's good that way! In a comment on my last blog entry, she posted a link to this NY Times article and mentioned that she thought I might be able to relate. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/18/style/modern-love-married-to-a-mystery-man.html?ref=oembed I read the article twice, and then replied to B's comment. I absolutely can relate to … Continue reading Mystery man, or liar?
Beyond the sea
Apparently I won't be facing my in-laws any time soon. Phew. I'm still not sure what provoked his desire to make contact, we need to have a long discussion about this, but truth is, I haven't felt up to the conversation. When I left the beach house last week, my cold was bad and I … Continue reading Beyond the sea
It will never be about us
I have had numerous conversations lately swirling around the heartbreaking topic of suicide. It's one of those things that seems to happen in waves, but in fact happens all the time, thoughts of it, and the actual act of it. The familiar words of regret from those left behind, family, friends... insisting there was something … Continue reading It will never be about us
More about year four
We returned Saturday night from a wonderful road trip to Yosemite National Park in California, but that is not what I am writing about today. Today, I need to go back in time a couple weeks and discuss a conversation between me and Blue Eyes. I have been spending more and more time at the … Continue reading More about year four
The fight for control
Obviously Blue Eyes and I still have our moments. There are details that I don't know. I would be living in fantasyland if I thought I would ever know everything. At this point, I don't want to know any more. I do not specifically seek out details from the secret life of my sex addict husband. Sometimes, … Continue reading The fight for control
I cried, just a little…
I'm taking a break from my vacation travel posts to focus on the reality of today. We have been going through some stressful shit. I'm doing my best to not let it get to me, but then I realize although Blue Eyes wants for us to share in the handling of this rather unfortunate circumstance … Continue reading I cried, just a little…
So, what was wrong with my marriage?
I have spent a great deal of time over the past three years defending my marriage in my own mind. Mainly because I needed to come to terms with whether it was worth it to me to keep nurturing it. What it all really comes down to, for me, has nothing to do with a … Continue reading So, what was wrong with my marriage?
Anonymous
Anonymity is generally coveted on betrayed spouse blogs. Some of us are protecting the reputations of our husbands, because we want to. Because we believe in them and their ability to overcome whatever it was that drove them to their wretched cheating behavior in the first place. And if it is not their reputation we … Continue reading Anonymous
try not to cry on my rainbow 