Blue Eyes is now three years sober. He will receive his three year sobriety chip at his next Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. His official self proclaimed sobriety date is December 11, 2013. His last date of acting out with the other woman was July 30, 2013. His sobriety date corresponds with the day he decided for himself … Continue reading Living in denial
survival after betrayal
My time alone
We are heading out of town to Tokyo tomorrow and I didn't want to leave my blog sitting here with the bit about mistresses hanging in the air. So here I am, carving out a few minutes to jot down my thoughts while trying to finish off that last little bit of packing. It was a fairly … Continue reading My time alone
Advice not wanted
Other than hurtful words that have carelessly been uttered from my husband's own mouth, and I knew he didn't want to hurt me further, but he did, because healing is a long and arduous process for a recovering addict and every single day for him is plagued with shame and self doubt... I would have to … Continue reading Advice not wanted
Does time heal wounds
My answer is: no. “This life is for loving, sharing, learning, smiling, caring, forgiving, laughing, hugging, helping, dancing, wondering, healing, and even more loving. I choose to live life this way. I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, 'aw … Continue reading Does time heal wounds
Getting to that place
First there was the earth shattering revelation that my husband had cheated on me. Repeatedly. Then there was the pain, the shock, the confusion, the heartache, and the continued torture of hearing all the things he had done that broke apart my world. Then there was me, falling to the ground in agony. There was … Continue reading Getting to that place
It still hurts
We are recently home from paradise. I returned from my six weeks of healthful living in North Carolina, spent one week at home seeing my own doctor and signing up for a local wellness center that offers all the fun classes I will want to take in order to preserve the exercise portion of my healthy lifestyle, … Continue reading It still hurts
Forever a work in progress
I have now been here, in my little home away from home, for five full weeks. Did I ever mention that I had never lived on my own before? I went straight from my parents house(s) to college life with roommates, to living with a partner and then to raising a family and building my own home … Continue reading Forever a work in progress
I’ve made a lot of excuses
As much as I would love to say I am just pleasantly plump, or a little chubby, I have a lot of fat on my body. I teeter between overweight and obese, per all those handy BMI calculators. For me to give this diabetes control situation a chance, I need to get into the normal … Continue reading I’ve made a lot of excuses
I’m a control freak
Oh, I know I am, a control freak. I am also obsessive compulsive. I won't go into the details, because they are not all that pretty, but I am. Although I think control freak has a pretty negative connotation in our world, I also think my personality has served me well in the healing process. Blue Eyes' … Continue reading I’m a control freak
Who knows the truth
After Blue Eyes' disclosures of his secret life and subsequent diagnosis as a sex addict, I kinda wanted everyone to know the truth. I'm not exactly sure why. Eventually I know I wanted people to understand sex addiction. I want it brought out of the darkness and into the light so people will know they … Continue reading Who knows the truth
try not to cry on my rainbow 