So, I think I am at this place. The place where I can get past those horrible, frustrating, triggering, and often times painful moments without more therapy. At least for now. I cancelled my last two therapy appointments. I just wasn't feeling it. But, never say never, right? A couple things I love about the … Continue reading Therapy is nice…
trauma therapy
Worth fighting for
Just about 20 months ago I received trauma therapy in Los Angeles. The particular psychotherapist I visited specializes in working with developmental, relational, and shock trauma. From her website, "she is a specialist in the Sex Addiction-Induced Trauma Model and she is trained to work with the addict, the spouse, and the couple. She is also … Continue reading Worth fighting for
Obliteration of self
For me, self care means taking a moment to stop and appreciate the beauty around me. This past weekend we did a little wine tasting with friends and this gorgeous flower arrangement was on the tasting counter. My goal here is to journal my life... on the blog of me. I try not to do … Continue reading Obliteration of self
I don’t actually know what is real
"I love myself!" It was a downright hellish battle for my trauma therapist to get me to say those words last year. In one of our earlier sessions, she said, "Kat, do you love yourself?" And I sat there, for a long time, thinking. And then tears started rolling down my cheeks. At that point, I … Continue reading I don’t actually know what is real
A mountain of fear
Here is my dilemma. My current and evolving story is about betrayal and subsequent trauma. Blue Eyes's story is about addiction. His story has been about addiction all along. We have both been hurt. But I did not perpetrate hurt on anyone. My marriage was not struggling. Although my husband did work, at lot, he was not … Continue reading A mountain of fear
Apparently I am just not good at this therapy stuff
Journal Entry: July 17, 2014 I had a run in with Chatty Kathy today. I am starting to think I am not cut out for therapy. Blue Eyes is preparing his first step for his 12 step sex addicts anonymous share. He hopes to get his first step done in the next couple months. It … Continue reading Apparently I am just not good at this therapy stuff
Hasta la vista, baby!
Journal Entry: July 3, 2014 Email today to my friend, D: Well, June is over. Do you feel more relaxed yet? Blue Eyes and I are home and enjoying a quiet holiday week. He is struggling more, me a little less. We are moving forward, because sitting still is depressing. Blue Eyes is in a … Continue reading Hasta la vista, baby!
The celibacy fiasco
Journal Entry: June 29, 2014 This is it, the last day of my husband’s intensive therapy program. When Blue Eyes arrived at the peaceful spa pool at the resort where I was luxuriating in the 80+ degree weather, I knew immediately something was terribly wrong. He was supposed to have met me up at the … Continue reading The celibacy fiasco
Thoughts for the day
Journal Entry: June 26, 2014 I have been away from my husband for seven days now. He finally got his act together and started calling and/or texting at the agreed upon times, which has helped my anxiety. Sometimes I sleep through his morning texts and sometimes I am in my own therapy session during his … Continue reading Thoughts for the day
Cleaning the closet with PTSD
Journal Entry: June 21, 2014 Last night I could not get to sleep without my husband. Since it was a travel day and not officially a workshop day, he was available to talk with me, and call me, and text me as much as he wanted. And he did. Mostly, I was busy with D … Continue reading Cleaning the closet with PTSD
try not to cry on my rainbow 