I feel vindicated. Just a little bit. Anyone who reads this blog knows sometimes I get something stuck, in my craw so to speak. I have already admitted I have a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder. People who know me, know this. Spending all this time exercising to iTunes music these days, I am really … Continue reading Mercy
adultery
What was he thinking
Somehow my exercise playlist on my iPhone disappeared. It probably happened with a recent update. I have always had trouble with iTunes. I had already started up the elliptical when I realized I didn't have a decent playlist to listen to. I set the thing to shuffle. As I was winding down my 35 minute … Continue reading What was he thinking
Worth fighting for
Just about 20 months ago I received trauma therapy in Los Angeles. The particular psychotherapist I visited specializes in working with developmental, relational, and shock trauma. From her website, "she is a specialist in the Sex Addiction-Induced Trauma Model and she is trained to work with the addict, the spouse, and the couple. She is also … Continue reading Worth fighting for
Looking back, just like any other day
I am moving right past the fact that this is it, right now, as I type this, the two year anniversary of the discovery day phone call. Blue Eyes did write me a beautiful and loving thank you note acknowledging that he knows what this day represents to me and that he is grateful for everything … Continue reading Looking back, just like any other day
Looking back, part two
While glancing back through 2015 posts, something else popped out at me and that was the fact that early on I still obsessed about the sex my husband had with the other woman. And even after I fully metabolized how unimportant those sex acts were in the scheme of things, I still focused on being able … Continue reading Looking back, part two
Looking back, part one
I did something I rarely do. I went back and looked through some of my old posts. I started at the beginning of 2015 and did a quick perusal of where I have been over the past year. Wow. Eye opener. I have made a lot of forward movement out of the dark recesses of … Continue reading Looking back, part one
Reconciling the differences
Me having a rough time of it usually precipitates a deep and open kind of communication that we had not really had before d-day. Until your world shatters into a million little pieces, there doesn't seem to be a need to sit around and talk all day about promises, and behaviors, and other women, and … Continue reading Reconciling the differences
I was doing so well
And this is the way it is going to be, for a very very long time. I was doing well. Accepting of my new and hopefully temporary role of being the caregiver to my husband. I had honestly, pre surgery, been doing well with our roles reversed for a change. I enjoyed kicking back and not … Continue reading I was doing so well
I will never tell him I forgive him
I have read a couple betrayed spouse posts recently, as well as an article or two, on the subject of forgiveness. I have also heard the phrase, "I will never forgive him," quite a few times. I am pretty specifically focusing on betrayed spouses forgiving their cheating spouses. Although I have mentioned forgiveness a few times on my … Continue reading I will never tell him I forgive him
Nobody said it was easy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB-RcX5DS5A Living with an addict, is hard. Living with an unrecovered addict is a bitch and half. I have done that and I don't want to ever do it again. Blue Eyes is a recovering addict. He wants to be a better man. He wants to change what is broken. He wants to heal. He … Continue reading Nobody said it was easy
try not to cry on my rainbow 