UGH. So what I really wanted to be doing while Blue Eyes is at his weekly Buddhist Meditation Meeting is writing another post about Paris, or even writing a post about how wonderful the recipe turned out that I tried for dinner tonight. The plantain tostadas with chipotle ranchero sauce, cilantro citrus marinated chicken, guacamole, … Continue reading “I know how difficult it must be…”
affair
Confession to make
I write about how honest I am here on my blog, so I am going to make a confession that is a little uncomfortable for me. Sometimes, not very often and I am not sure exactly what in my mood brings this on, I log out of WordPress and I anonymously check cheater blogs. I … Continue reading Confession to make
Continuing to purge
Oh, geez. We made it to that Monday morning I was dreading and things aren't much better for me. Maybe I need to get out and get some exercise. I have been so tired lately, but today is the day to get off my ass and work out. Last night we went to a movie with … Continue reading Continuing to purge
Letting go of the dream
Ack. Why are Sundays so difficult for me? Maybe it is because I dread getting back into the weekly routine and I know Monday is right around the corner. Maybe I just hate the fact that we never get enough sleep because Blue Eyes' has a 12-step meeting at 7:00am on Monday mornings and he gets … Continue reading Letting go of the dream
Needing to vent
Warning: this is just a venting post about how pissed off I am about my husband’s cheating and spending time internationally with “the other woman.” Anyone not interested in a spiteful rant, please pass this post by. If you are a betrayed spouse (or anyone else who enjoys spiteful rants) and somehow it gives you … Continue reading Needing to vent
I can see the crash, but I cannot stop the train
I want to be this really strong and independent woman again, like I was before dday. But, I can now see that it is going to take more time than I had expected. One of the main reasons I did not travel with my husband on business over the years is because I do not … Continue reading I can see the crash, but I cannot stop the train
A productive conversation
We made it to Amsterdam. When we got off the plane at 7:15am Amsterdam time, 12:15am Salt Lake City time, with no sleep and running on less than five hours from the night before, AND not getting one good night's sleep the entire previous week, I knew I wasn't going to go sightseeing when we … Continue reading A productive conversation
Reconnecting with Blue Eyes… and with the trauma
It has been more than four days since I posted. That's a long time for me. We have been busy. I was delighted to welcome my husband to Salt Lake City. It felt great being back in his arms. We both immediately felt more grounded and whole. This is a good thing. I desperately missed him … Continue reading Reconnecting with Blue Eyes… and with the trauma
The angry wife
It's been a tough week. Emotions are running high due to my impending trip out of town. I had a bout with low blood pressure while on a five mile walk with my husband earlier this week. I got through the difficult part of the walk, the first half is up hill. We walk through neighborhoods and … Continue reading The angry wife
It started on Valentine’s Day
Even though I feel stronger than I did a year ago, stronger as a person and stronger in my marriage, I am not sure I will ever be able to go through an entire day without some reference to the hell my husband has put me through. On Valentine’s Day afternoon, our dogs would not … Continue reading It started on Valentine’s Day
try not to cry on my rainbow 