Journal Entry: June 21, 2014 Last night I could not get to sleep without my husband. Since it was a travel day and not officially a workshop day, he was available to talk with me, and call me, and text me as much as he wanted. And he did. Mostly, I was busy with D … Continue reading Cleaning the closet with PTSD
betrayal
Saying Good-bye
Journal Entry: June 20, 2014 I received a call yesterday from The Director of the Institute in Los Angeles that specializes in sex addiction treatment. I have met him once before, at my first trauma intensive appointment last month in Los Angeles. He's a pretty entertaining and charismatic guy, when he wants to be. He will … Continue reading Saying Good-bye
We told my parents today
Journal Entry: June 13, 2014 We were back in Los Angeles earlier this week for therapy. I received a phone call from my mother regarding my step father's birthday/father's day this coming weekend. I have been making so many excuses for why we have been out of town so much, and why we have been … Continue reading We told my parents today
Things I have learned after five months of trauma and a boatload of therapy
“No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won’t make you cry.” -Anonymous Journal Entry: June 11, 2014 D-Day was exactly five months ago today. I have been in one form of therapy or another for nearly the entire five months since then. I have been in intensive trauma … Continue reading Things I have learned after five months of trauma and a boatload of therapy
Consequences
Journal Entry: June 10, 2014 “Lately I've been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and how I need to become to become the kind of love … Continue reading Consequences
She haunts these places
Journal Entry: June 6, 2014 We have an agreement, my husband and I. If he needs to go on a business trip, especially if it is overnight, I will go with him, at least for the foreseeable future. He is still early in his recovery, and is completely susceptible to his acting out patterns and … Continue reading She haunts these places
Put it all in a box and hide it away
Journal Entry: May 22, 2014 I’m having a shitty evening. On our way to dinner, my mobile phone was ringing in my purse. I dug it out and there she was, the whore, calling me again. Honestly, I know this woman was needy and empty and my husband pursued sex with her and if it … Continue reading Put it all in a box and hide it away
Another one bites the dust
Journal Entry: May 20, 2014 Part of our plan after leaving Los Angeles last week was to meet with both my husband’s therapist (here forward called The Quack) and my local therapist, as a couple, to discuss how best to handle our son’s graduation, and our interactions with the in-laws. I honestly never wanted to … Continue reading Another one bites the dust
Day Two: Can we fix this mess?
Journal Entry: May 16, 2014 I sent this message to my friend during my lunch break: Hi D. I am killing time since I have a 1 hour and 40 min break with no place really to go except the bed bath and beyond across the street, or the sundry shop in the lobby (that … Continue reading Day Two: Can we fix this mess?
Day One: How did I get here?
Journal Entry: May 15, 2014 Message to D: I am looking forward to my session today. I have high hopes. Yesterday was a great day even with airports and airplanes. I did fine. My birthday dinner was fabulous, one of my favorite restaurants. We had a rough morning, unfortunately, but B is at a "meeting" … Continue reading Day One: How did I get here?
try not to cry on my rainbow 