Crazy 80's perm hair at Heian Shrine, Kyoto Japan (January 1987) All I wanted to do was collapse into Blue Eyes' arms the moment I arrived at the Osaka airport in late December 1986. I had purchased a cheap round trip student airline ticket with an open ended return (I don't even know if you can do that anymore) and … Continue reading Just another love story. Part nine: arriving Japan
cheating husband
A desperate need for structure
As previously mentioned, a separation period has been discussed. I had suggested starting with three months. When Blue Eyes asked me when I wanted to start the separation I said, "I don't." He seemed confused. I explained to him that when I spoke of a separation, I wanted him to know how I thought it would … Continue reading A desperate need for structure
The blog of me
Photo: my favorite tea cup from my collection, and my favorite macarons from my favorite local bakery. Disclaimer: this photo was not taken recently. I am not sitting here eating a pile of french macarons. 🙂 I guess I am in some kind of hella writing mood today, this week, this month? Blue Eyes and … Continue reading The blog of me
Why are dreams so freakin’ weird
Yesterday I finally watched the Esther Perel TEDTalk titled: 'Rethinking infidelity... a talk for anyone who has ever loved,' which had been floating around my Facebook feed. I hadn't seen it linked on any of the blogs I follow, but it was linked to my Take Your Life Back Seminar Facebook page. It was kind of … Continue reading Why are dreams so freakin’ weird
I don’t actually know what is real
"I love myself!" It was a downright hellish battle for my trauma therapist to get me to say those words last year. In one of our earlier sessions, she said, "Kat, do you love yourself?" And I sat there, for a long time, thinking. And then tears started rolling down my cheeks. At that point, I … Continue reading I don’t actually know what is real
How I know I wouldn’t do “that”
I was going to reblog this (which I have never done before, reblogged anything), but in true Kat style, I decided to link it so I had plenty of space to write out my own comments. I enjoyed reading this post by marriagerecoveryblog. The other woman's hatred for the wife I love how she tells her … Continue reading How I know I wouldn’t do “that”
Break Free
I have recommended this Tony Porter: A Call To Men TED Talk before in comments to other bloggers, but I haven't ever posted it here on my blog. Blue Eyes was referred to this talk by one of his therapists. He has recommended it to others because it so resonates with him. He associates himself … Continue reading Break Free
Just another love story. Part six: Blue Eyes graduates college
Well, it’s been a while, but I feel that urge again to dip back into the memory banks of mine and Blue Eyes first years together. The years that would shape our eventual married life and impact decades of moments as a couple and as a family. After Blue Eyes returned from his winter break trip home, … Continue reading Just another love story. Part six: Blue Eyes graduates college
I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
Oh boy, here we go. I don't really have a lot of time right now for blogging. I shouldn't be blogging. I should be up, and moving at the very least. I have my alarm set to get me up out of my chair every hour. Sitting is bad for me/us/people. I actually should be … Continue reading I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
A mountain of fear
Here is my dilemma. My current and evolving story is about betrayal and subsequent trauma. Blue Eyes's story is about addiction. His story has been about addiction all along. We have both been hurt. But I did not perpetrate hurt on anyone. My marriage was not struggling. Although my husband did work, at lot, he was not … Continue reading A mountain of fear
