I have now been here, in my little home away from home, for five full weeks. Did I ever mention that I had never lived on my own before? I went straight from my parents house(s) to college life with roommates, to living with a partner and then to raising a family and building my own home … Continue reading Forever a work in progress
married to a sex addict
Complacency
It's been a while since I have been here blogging. I read, and sometimes comment, but writing on my blog is a whole different beast. Some days I feel like I could write ten entries, and then suddenly it feels like weeks go by without the desire, or the time... I am often thinking about blogging because my … Continue reading Complacency
Looking back, just like any other day
I am moving right past the fact that this is it, right now, as I type this, the two year anniversary of the discovery day phone call. Blue Eyes did write me a beautiful and loving thank you note acknowledging that he knows what this day represents to me and that he is grateful for everything … Continue reading Looking back, just like any other day
Looking back, part one
I did something I rarely do. I went back and looked through some of my old posts. I started at the beginning of 2015 and did a quick perusal of where I have been over the past year. Wow. Eye opener. I have made a lot of forward movement out of the dark recesses of … Continue reading Looking back, part one
I was doing so well
And this is the way it is going to be, for a very very long time. I was doing well. Accepting of my new and hopefully temporary role of being the caregiver to my husband. I had honestly, pre surgery, been doing well with our roles reversed for a change. I enjoyed kicking back and not … Continue reading I was doing so well
Amends, part two
December 3, 2015 Later that evening... I knew I was going to do what I did, I just really really wished Blue Eyes had taken our discussion in the morning and done more with it. I wish it had mattered enough for him, that he had taken a good look at that step eight amends … Continue reading Amends, part two
Amends, part one
December 3, 2015 And just when you think he gets it... Blue Eyes is working his step nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (sa.org) Step eight was making the list (I always thought step eight was the making amends step), but step nine … Continue reading Amends, part one
Sunday mornings
Prior to d-day, Sunday mornings weren't really anything special. Like any other day, I got up when I felt like it, and Blue Eyes got up when he felt like it. When the kids were younger they had religious school on Sunday mornings, so one or both of us was up reasonably early to get … Continue reading Sunday mornings
Facebook, you torture me
This morning Facebook reminded me that six years ago today I posted the following entry on my personal blog, which I then linked to Facebook. This was a trigger, a huge trigger. I'll explain later. Wednesday, November 18, 2009 Why am I doing this? Why am I writing this blog? Because this past weekend I … Continue reading Facebook, you torture me
Revisiting my story
The story in my head plays out. I am a happily married 50-year old woman with two amazing and mostly grown sons. My husband and I have been best friends and partners for 30 years. We share everything. We are passionate, loving, kind, and show each other mutual respect, until I realize, one of us … Continue reading Revisiting my story
try not to cry on my rainbow 