try not to cry on my rainbow

Married to a sex addict. Rebuilding a relationship. The recovery journey.

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PTSD

Down to your heart

October 22, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 21 Comments

My dahlias are still going strong and bringing me lots of joy! I received the quote below in an inspirational email from the best trauma therapist in the world... at least she is that to me! These words spoke to me. The old me, before discovery, would have wanted to solve all my problems with … Continue reading Down to your heart

You are going to be okay, part one

October 8, 2020October 8, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 16 Comments

A very pretty day in the neighborhood WordPress reminded me last weekend that this blog is now six years old. I started writing about nine months into my healing journey. I had been journaling for months and it took quite a while to put all those words into legitimate, readable blog entries. I finally caught … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part one

We’re in this together

May 30, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 29 Comments

Huge peony blooms from my cutting garden. I know it’s confusing to some, how or even why I would want to stay partnered with a person who lied and cheated and systematically betrayed me. How to get past the wounds, and why? Why trust? Why knowingly make myself vulnerable to a proven abuser. The question … Continue reading We’re in this together

Things we remember

April 20, 2020April 20, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 64 Comments

Full disclosure. I am going to admit straight off that this is a petty and immature post. I rarely feel this way, at least not anymore, but there's something about being cooped up for weeks that has me tense and a bit ungrounded. I just had a video call with my doc and we are … Continue reading Things we remember

What do I want

December 9, 2019December 9, 2019 / CrazyKat1963 / 34 Comments

I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want

They’re talking about me

December 3, 2019March 19, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 30 Comments

My sister was talking about me. This would be the sister who shared the same divorced parents, the same childhood experiences, the same trauma. Despite her mental illness, or maybe because of it, she is sharp as a tack. She's insightful, and intuitive, and I know she looks up to me. I'm her big sister, … Continue reading They’re talking about me

I’m that girl

December 2, 2019March 19, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 38 Comments

The good girl. The designated driver. The one who looks around for who might have dropped that $20 bill in the mall parking lot and then turns it in to the security desk. I'm the one who got straight A's, always. The teacher's pet. The good friend, never the mean girl. I'm the one who … Continue reading I’m that girl

What to do with me…

November 25, 2019 / CrazyKat1963 / 19 Comments

This morning a 20-something hazmat clean up crew guy tells me there is no way he believes I am over 50 years old. Thank you kind young man, you made my day. But it didn't last long. And the fact that a hazmat crew is at my house hits me like a ton of bricks. … Continue reading What to do with me…

Triggered

September 30, 2019October 20, 2019 / CrazyKat1963 / 14 Comments

This past week I finished watching the television series called The Fall (2013-2016). I watched it all the way through over a few weeks time. It is dark, and intense. The story of a serial killer (Jamie Dornan) in Belfast, Ireland, and the detective (Gillian Anderson) brought in to track him down. It was a … Continue reading Triggered

Thoughts for today

May 26, 2019May 29, 2019 / CrazyKat1963 / 38 Comments

I knew it wasn't perfect Not me, not you. Our faults were written all over our faces, and on every wall and in all the spaces. Me, always too much. Always the first and last to speak and share. The one with all the words, the one who never shuts down and always cares. You, … Continue reading Thoughts for today

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Reach Kat at crazy0907cat@yahoo.com

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Recent Posts

  • Cheers to 2023! πŸ₯‚
  • Toxic People
  • Deflection
  • It’s a good thing: brunch
  • Work life balance

Recent Comments

Dave Gardner on Cheers to 2023! πŸ₯‚
CrazyKat1963 on Cheers to 2023! πŸ₯‚
CrazyKat1963 on Cheers to 2023! πŸ₯‚
CrazyKat1963 on Cheers to 2023! πŸ₯‚
CrazyKat1963 on Cheers to 2023! πŸ₯‚

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