Ever since I read Walking the Journey's post last month titled I know what I would do. I have been thinking about this concept of whether or not I would want to or be able to tell a friend that their spouse is cheating, or if my friend is the cheater, would I want to, … Continue reading Circumstantial existence
sex addiction symptoms
Sex, Lies and Obsession
In between watching Wimbledon matches, I ran across a movie on the Lifetime Channel called 'Sex, Lies and Obsession' starring Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna. It's a very old movie and I remembered hearing about it or watching it years ago, maybe 15 years ago, WAY before dday, but didn't remember any of the details. … Continue reading Sex, Lies and Obsession
Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
If you have been reading my blog, specifically these entries about our history, you know that I was living a certain reality, loving life, hating my in-laws, married with a new baby, struggling to make ends meet, but you also know the bigger picture, and the reality that my husband was living a very different version of … Continue reading Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
On being an addict
Below is an old blog post Blue Eyes wrote while he was working on his fourth step. I thought I had read everything on his blog, but somehow I missed this. Honestly, I think this post speaks so very clearly to his struggle with being an addict. It was extremely difficult for me to read … Continue reading On being an addict
“The only winning move is not to play.”
When I think back to how things used to be, with Blue Eyes, it is difficult to remove the umbrella of pain and sadness and trauma that seems to hover over those memories. If I dig deep though, I know what we had was pretty great in the scheme of things. We had a long term loving relationship. … Continue reading “The only winning move is not to play.”
Stumbling down the road to recovery
And the journey to recovery continues. I have never lived with a recovering addict, but I am pretty intuitive. I knew it wasn't going to be as easy as acknowledging his addiction and just saying no to his drug. That is called white knuckling it, and not getting to the root of the problem. They … Continue reading Stumbling down the road to recovery
Please stop saying you’re sorry
I need something pretty to go with this not so pretty post. I took this in my cutting garden with my macro lens. The bee's wings are so shiny and beautiful to me. After posting about structure yesterday, Blue Eyes came home from his very long day, which started with a 7:00am 12-step meeting, then numerous … Continue reading Please stop saying you’re sorry
I need to talk this out, okay?
A sky that matches my mood... I have no idea where this is going, which is fairly unlike me. I really need to write now while my husband is away from the house. I need to think my thoughts out loud, in front of you all. It will probably sound crazy in the end, because … Continue reading I need to talk this out, okay?
Evolution of a friendship
This post has been floating around in my head for a while. A few days ago rac over at Life after his affair wrote a post about an old friend, which prompted me to actually get this out on paper, so to speak. I am not sure there is a real and good solution to … Continue reading Evolution of a friendship
And that would be gaslighting
Monday, February 16, 2015: couple’s therapy Due to traveling schedules, we had not been to see Ms. Second Chance for two weeks. I could barely remember what we talked about last time. I’m pretty sure we left needing to further discuss my thoughts on bringing a period of celibacy back in order for Blue Eyes … Continue reading And that would be gaslighting
try not to cry on my rainbow 